


A Thousand Words

by Kaiyou



Category: Naruto
Genre: Art, M/M, New Mexico, Photography, Teens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 01:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiyou/pseuds/Kaiyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Naruto characters belong to Kishimoto, and I am not making money from this work.</p>
<p>Summary: When neither Sasuke nor Naruto can find the words to say what’s really important, they find a picture might say enough to get them started.</p>
<p>Sasuke stared out the window at the passing scenery, almost able to drone out the never-ending chatter from the blonde in the driver’s seat. He fingered his camera bag idly, glancing up at the afternoon sun and gauging the light left in the day. They were starting to get into the area with salt flats. He knew there was a big one up ahead not to far…</p>
<p>“Dobe. Stop the car,” said Sasuke.</p>
<p>“And then Shikimaru said – eh?” </p>
<p>Sasuke’s eyes widened as the SUV drifted dangerously to the right as the blonde processed his request. Said blonde then stopped the vehicle way too fast, causing Sasuke’s seat belt to tighten unnecessarily. He turned to glare at the other boy.</p>
<p>“Why did I ever decide to let you drive my car?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sasuke stared out the window at the passing scenery, almost able to drone out the never-ending chatter from the blonde in the driver’s seat. He fingered his camera bag idly, glancing up at the afternoon sun and gauging the light left in the day. They were starting to get into the area with salt flats. He knew there was a big one up ahead not to far…

“Dobe. Stop the car,” said Sasuke.

“And then Shikimaru said – eh?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened as the SUV drifted dangerously to the right as the blonde processed his request. Said blonde then stopped the vehicle way too fast, causing Sasuke’s seat belt to tighten unnecessarily. He turned to glare at the other boy.

“Why did I ever decide to let you drive my car?”

“Hey, hey! You’re the one who asked me to come!”

Sasuke acknowledged inwardly that this was at least partially true, and grunted in response as he got down out of the SUV. He heard a quiet “bastard” out of his best friend and let a smirk grace his features as he walked towards the barbed-wire fence separating him from his objective. He could hear the blonde parking the SUV properly as he jumped the fence, going towards the edge off the large patch of shallow, brine-filled pools. Humming in satisfaction, he began to set up his equipment.

For a while, his entire focus was on taking pictures. The light-blue sky was perfectly reflected in the web of interconnected pools, and the salt-encrusted edges of the sand bars splayed out between them gave the landscape an almost alien look. It was just cloudy enough that he knew the sunset would be absolutely spectacular.

For the past two years – ever since the fall of his eleventh grade year – photography had been his passion. It had been completely unexpected – he’d never thought of himself as an artist – but he had found that being able to capture the moments that no one else saw, in ways that no one else noticed, gave him great satisfaction.

He glanced over at his best friend. The idiot was trying to tightrope walk down one of the sand bars, his arms splayed out dramatically as he sang to himself in a loud voice. He snorted to himself and went back to taking pictures, crouching next to a lone blade of yellow grass sticking up next to the edge of one of the pools. He wondered if it had been a good idea to let the blonde come – mixing Naruto and anything that might possibly get messy was probably not a good idea – but hadn’t had the heart to turn him down when the blonde had whined about having to spend a Saturday alone. He still wasn’t completely sure if a statement of “Fine. Come with me.” after a half-hour of pleading counted as asking the blond along, though.

A little while later, as he was catching shots of a blushing sunset, he noticed – it was quiet. Too quiet. He looked around suspiciously, and then drew in a breath at what he saw.

The normally boisterous blonde was standing still, staring out across the landscape as if in contemplation. The raven raised his camera and shot on instinct, trying to quell the forbidden feelings that threatened to rise up in his heart. Suddenly, he wasn’t sorry the blonde had come at all. Naruto didn’t even notice, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to care, when he suddenly came to a decision and nodded.

“Oi, Sasuke,” he said, spinning towards the raven. Said raven cringed as the blonde’s foot slid out from under him, landing him on his ass in one of the muddy pools. Whatever he’d wanted to say was lost amidst sputtering and yelling as the idiot splashed angrily in the water.

Sasuke sighed, feeling the chill air of evening caress his skin. He looked longingly at the landscape around him, and then down at the count on his camera. Smirking, he fired off the last two shots at the struggling blonde before bending over to put his equipment away.

“Bastard! Come over here and help me out! There’s no way I’m letting you keep those pictures!”

Glancing over to make sure the idiot could figure a way to stand up in a three-inch deep pool, Sasuke walked back over to the vehicle, opening up the back and sighing. He really should start carrying around some towels. He put the camera bag down next to a big red toolbox, and reached to pull out a couple of garbage bags before turning and looking critically at his best friend.

“B-b-bastard,” said the other boy, shivering in his wet and muddy clothes.

Sasuke sighed and handed one of the bags to him. “Strip.”

Naruto’s eyes widened. “Wha?”

“There’s no way I’m letting you ride in my car in those clothes. Put them in the bag, we’ll wash them at my house later. You can sit on the other bag.”

Growling, Naruto snatched the other bag out of Sasuke’s hands before stalking to the side of the car and throwing it in the seat behind the driver. He scowled over at Sasuke, then looked away stiffly and said, “Go – on the other side of the car or something, give me some privacy.”

Sasuke refrained from commenting on how that side of the car was the one anyone that came down the road would be able to see, and walked around the other side of the car, looking out across the salt flats. When they were younger, there hadn’t been an issue of modesty between them, but lately Naruto had been acting odd about anything combining Sasuke and undressing. The raven wondered if he suspected – but doubted it. The idiot was normally slow when it came to do with anything regarding relationships, and Sasuke had been very careful to hide any sign that his feelings for his friend were more than just simply friendly.

“Alright, you can come over now,” said the blonde. Sasuke glanced at him quickly as he slid into the driver’s seat. Naruto was looking out the window, a faint tinge of pink across his cheeks. He sat on the black plastic bag clad in nothing but a pair of bright-green boxers, clutching the other bag with his clothes in front of him. Sasuke shook his head, and adjusted the mirrors before turning the SUV back around towards home.

. . .

The ride home was pleasantly silent, except for the occasional noise of shifting plastic as the blonde squirmed around in the back seat. After a while, the raven heard the sounds of light snores from the back. He glanced back and saw that the blonde had passed out against the window, drooling slightly. Sasuke chuckled, and took a moment to let his gaze wander down over the sleeping man. He paused at the juncture where neck met shoulder before wandering down over the skin of his best friend’s chest above the black bag now clutched in slack arms. The normally tan skin was washed to a pale glow in the moonlight filtering through the window.

He looked back at the road. Maybe Naruto was right to be shy around him, if he couldn’t even stop molesting the blonde with his eyes when he was asleep. Sasuke sighed in frustration. He couldn’t let anything happen to harm his friendship with the blonde. They’d been friends ever since the summer before seventh grade, when Itachi had made him move to a stupid small town after the death of their parents.

Sasuke had been sullen and withdrawn, prone to fits of violence and anger. One day, he’d been walking along the river in the park when a kid came out of no-where and knocked him into the water. Glaring up at an apologetic-looking kid clutching a Frisbee, something inside him snapped.

That was their first fight. Sasuke had been surprised to find that the blonde was a fairly good fighter. His friends had just stood back and watched as the two went at it, before grabbing the Frisbee and getting back in their game. The fight had ended up as somewhat of an almost-draw – Sasuke had to concede that Naruto might have been just a tad bit better than him, the first time – and the two had lapsed into companionable silence, panting as they lay back against the grass on the riverbank.

“I’m Naruto,” the blonde had finally said.

The raven grunted. “Sasuke.”

“You’re a pretty good fighter, Sasuke. My uncle Kakashi has a dojo here in town. You should come spar with us.”

“Hn.”

“Oh, he he – and sorry for knocking you into the water. Sometimes I don’t watch where I’m going.”

Sasuke had grunted. “Way to state the obvious, idiot.”

“Hey! Bastard! I was trying to apologize there!”

“Hn.”

Itachi had been delighted when he took the blonde up on his offer. The older teen had been struggling to figure out how to help his brother over the grief of their parent’s death without much success. It was easy for him to see that the physical release and discipline of martial arts gave his little brother a way to channel his rage, and a sense of pride and self-respect as he found that he was pretty good at it all.

Sasuke and Naruto had become fast friends after that at as well, though some might have called it more of a rivalry. The two were deadly serious about their video games, and spent most of their afternoons in the house of one or the other playing until they were forced to eat dinner.

They lived on opposite sides of the wide, slow river that ran through the south part of the town. Sasuke lived with Itachi in a big house on the south side of the river, with a long sloping backyard that led to an outdoor bar-b-que pit and patio at the edge of the water. Naruto lived across the way in a house with his aunt Tsunade. His backyard was full of terraced gardens, and steps that led down to a pool. At the edge of the water there was a shed, with a couple of paddle-boats and inner tubes that the boys used to keep cool in the heat of summer by floating down the river. They normally used a boat to get home in the evening as well, unless it was too cold. Sometimes they biked. The roads were a lot longer, but were curvy and not to steep, and there were spots where the old trees on either side of the roads met to form a canopy overhead, blocking out the worst of the sunlight.

It was a far cry from the hustle of the big city that Sasuke had been used to. It was slower-paced, but there was a lot to do, and Naruto always made things interesting – even if he was often annoying and exasperating. They were competitive in almost everything they did, though each had their own area of expertise. Sasuke had a knack for computers, especially programming. He could analyze a problem quickly and find the best solution in a way that left Naruto blathering on about how it would never work – and then about cheating, when it did. For his part, Sasuke had to – grudgingly – admire Naruto’s talent with art. The kid had been stuck in a random drafting class in junior high, and had found a deep love of the things he could do when pencil met paper. After that, he’d branched out into painting as well, showing off a love of bright rich colors in his abstract works. In their senior year, one of his teachers had clued him into architecture, and how it might help meld his spatial sense with his creativity.

They were both going off to college in a month. Luckily, just a few hours to the south there was a college that happened to be one of the best in the country for both computer science and engineering. Everything was set for them to room together in the on-campus apartment-style dorms. Sasuke knew everything was going to be great – and he didn’t need some weird emotional responses to get in the way of everything and screw things up.

. . .

Sasuke pulled into his garage, narrowing his eyes at the still-sleeping blonde. He got out and pulled his camera bag out of the back of the SUV before going around and opening the blonde’s door.

Naruto fell against his seatbelt, waking quickly and scrambling to get into a less awkward position. “What… hey! Oi, bastard!” he yelled at Sasuke as the raven grabbed the bag full of clothes and turned to go into the house.

“Go take a bath or a shower or something,” Sasuke shot back over his shoulder as he unlocked the door. “I’m going to go develop these shots.”

He walked into the laundry room and emptied the bag into the big wash basin next to the washer and dryer, crinkling his nose in disgust at the sight of the mud-caked clothes and shoes. He heard the patter of bare feet behind him and glanced back. Naruto had grabbed a big fluffy towel from off the dryer and was already wrapped up in it, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Sasuke blinked away random thoughts of cuteness and turned towards the kitchen. “When you’re done in the bath, come wash off your clothes before putting them in the washer. Itachi won’t be home until late.”

The blond shuffled after him into the kitchen. “Mmmm… ramen?” he asked, glancing hopefully towards the pantry.

Sasuke smirked. “After the shower, dobe! But yeah, Itachi stocked up. And no, I don’t want any – I’ll just fix myself something when I’m done with these.”

He went upstairs to the dark room and shut himself in, flipping on some soft electronica to hum along to as he worked. Itachi had given him the darkroom as a Christmas present a year and a half ago, once he saw that Sasuke was really committed to his hobby – and committed to making healthy decisions in his life. The choices Sasuke had made the summer after his sixteenth birthday had been – radically less than healthy. Itachi never gave up on him, though, and had been willing to do whatever it took to save Sasuke from himself and his demons. Even if Itachi did have his – quirks – Sasuke couldn’t imagine having anyone else as a brother. Itachi had shown him the depth of what “family” really meant. Just like the blonde had shown him the depth of what “best friend” and “never give up on you” really meant.

Sasuke hung up the final negatives to dry before going out to fix himself some dinner and kick Naruto’s ass at a video game or two.

. . .

Sasuke woke with a flash of light in his face. He sat up groggily, looking around to see that he had been curled up on one end of the couch. Naruto was sprawled out in the easy chair on the far side of the couch, snoring loudly. Sasuke glared up into the face of his older brother, who was leaning over the couch, a cheap digital camera in hand.

“Evening, boys!” the dark-haired man cried out, smirking down at his little brother. Years of practice had made him totally immune to whatever dark glares Sasuke sent him. After all, glares were nothing compared to what Sasuke had thrown at him in the past.

“Both fall asleep at the controls again, I take it?” came a voice from behind Itachi. Sasuke sat up and looked at the grey-haired man coming into the living room from the kitchen.

“Good evening, sensei,” he said, nodding with respect at his teacher. After Sasuke had joined the dojo, Itachi and Kakashi had struck up a friendship of their own, and were known to occasionally make runs to the neighboring town to catch a marathon of cheesy old kung fu movies.

Kakashi nodded at Sasuke before going over to stare morosefully down at the snoring form of his nephew. “There are nights,” he said mournfully, “when I’m almost positive we aren’t actually related.”

Sasuke snickered as the grey-haired man bonked Naruto on the head. “Naruto! Wake up! I’m here to take you home!”

Yawning, Sasuke watched as the man bundled the sleepy blonde out the front door before snuggling deeper into the couch. He was contemplating just sleeping there when Itachi came back from shutting the front door, looking through the pictures on his camera with a satisfied smirk.

“I trust you got some good pictures today, little brother?” Itachi said.

Sasuke nodded, covering another yawn and laying his head down on a pillow at the end of the couch. “I think so, it was good light today,” he said quietly, voice edged with sleep. One eye cracked open to glare at the piece of crap in Itachi’s hands. “You should at least get a decent camera if you’re going to use one,” he said, closing his eyes to regain sleep.

Itachi shook his head and turned towards the stairs. “It works fine for my purposes. By the way, you’re really cute when you sleep. Oh, and thanks for telling me about that facebook site.”

Itachi counted to five slowly under his breath. Really, Sasuke must have been tired to take so long to –

“Itachi! I’m going to kill you!”

Ah, there it was. The sound of his little brother tearing over the back of the couch in an effort to catch him as he ran up the stairs, trying to grab the camera out of his hand. The perfect end to a lovely day.

Sasuke would be more comfortable sleeping upstairs in his own bed, anyway.

. . .

The next afternoon, Sasuke spread his finished prints out on the dining room table in full view of the sun streaming through the back windows. He was pleased at how the final prints had turned out. He thought the teacher of his summer photography course would be, too. Some might consider the land surrounding the oasis of his town a desert, or a wasteland, but Sasuke found there was incredible beauty in the land, and his pictures helped other people to see that too.

He stared down at the picture he’d taken of Naruto against the sunset. It looked almost like his friend was standing on a lattice separating two skies, suspended between warmth and cool. The orange hues on the clouds contrasted sharply with the cooler purples of the shadows behind his friend. The colors of Naruto’s clothes and hair stood out against the pastels of the landscape, somehow seeming to make him more a part of the brilliant sky than the land he stood on. His face was set in a rare look of quiet determination as he faced off into the distance, making the viewer wonder what he held in his mind. It was Sasuke’s favorite shot from the day, and one of the favorites he had ever taken. He wouldn’t use it in the assignment – it was supposed to only be landscapes, this time – but he knew it was an amazing shot, and would probably use it in his portfolio.

Sasuke heard something bump outside, and saw Naruto tying his canoe to the dock outside. A slight flush of embarrassment colored the raven’s cheeks, and he quickly slid Naruto’s photo under the others before the boy came in the house. He busied himself looking at the other pictures to try and figure out which ones he’d turn in as the blonde barged into the room.

“Afternoon, bastard,” he said, pulling out a chair and turning it so that he could lean forward as he sat down, crossing his arms over the back of the chair. “Tsunade made me help her out in the gardens today,” he continued, sticking his tongue out.

Sasuke smirked. He could still see bits of leaves and grass stuck in the other teen’s hair. “Didn’t you want to take a shower afterwards?”

Naruto shrugged, and then looked up from the table where he’d been glancing at the photographs. “I figured we could go for a ride or something. You know, get your sorry ass out of the house for a little bit while the sun is out.”

Snorting, Sasuke said, “We spent plenty of time outdoors yesterday, if you remember. By the way, your clothes are still in the dryer, and your shoes are still in our sink.”

“Good, good,” Naruto said, suddenly standing up and coming around the table towards Sasuke. “But we need to get you some exercise man, otherwise you’re gonna go soft.” He punctuated the last word by a playful punch at Sasuke’s arm, which the other blocked easily.

“Not likely,” he replied, absently tapping his fingertips against the glass of the table top.

“Whoa, man,” Naruto said, looking down at the pictures. “These are the ones from yesterday? You were right, that really is a badass place to shoot. I don’t know how you do it, but…” he trailed off, picking up one of the pictures to look at it more closely.

Sasuke paused his tapping, a silent panic coming over him as he realized what picture Naruto had just uncovered. People take pictures of their guy friends all the time, right? It didn’t really matter – wouldn’t give anything away if he saw it. But, what if he saw it – and didn’t like it? Sasuke turned towards the kitchen, not wanting to see his friend’s reaction. “I’m going to grab a glass of water, you want anything?”

“No thanks,” the blonde replied absently.

When Sasuke returned, he paused in the doorway. Naruto had the picture of him in his hands and was looking at it pensively. After a moment, he glanced up at Sasuke, and they shared a serious look.

“Is this the way you see me, Sasuke?” he said, voice a bit deeper than normal. Sasuke shrugged and came over, nursing his water as the blonde set the photo back down on the table. “Its…” he said, trailing off into silence.

Sasuke cringed, not wanting to look at his best friend.

“It's really really amazing,” the blonde said, finally. “Thank you.”

Sasuke shrugged awkwardly, not used to this type of talk from his boisterous friend.

“Can I have this copy?”

“Sure,” Sasuke said, turning the other way to hide a small pleased smile on his face. “I can make another print. I’m probably going to reprint the final ones anyways.”

“Cool,” his friend replied. “I might grab another couple as well, once you’re done picking them out. The colors are really… inspirational.”

They’d worked on some collaborations before, Naruto using his prints as the basis for paintings – paintings that on the surface looked nothing like the photographs, sometimes, until you really saw what was going on. Naruto’s aunt Tsunade even had hung a few of their collaborations side by side in her living room, showing off the complementary prints.

“You should be careful, though,” Sasuke said finally, glancing down at the picture once more before walking back towards the kitchen with his glass.

“Eh?”

“Looks like you’re thinking pretty hard there. I’m not sure how much of that your brain can take.”

“Ah! Bastard!” Naruto said, bounding after him after quickly slipping the photographs into his backpack.

Sasuke grinned. Now, there was the dobe he knew and l – yeah. Loved.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days, Sasuke noticed that people were acting slightly strange around him. He first noticed it with Naruto, who was acting slightly skittish. Sasuke had been nervous at first, but when Itachi started being evasive as well, Sasuke became downright suspicious.

Then he checked the calendar. And groaned. It was getting to be that time of year again.

Sasuke’s official birthday was back in March, a time of year he hated. His birthday just happened to fall two days before his parent’s wedding anniversary – and two days after the anniversary of his parent’s death.

The spring of his sophomore year made things especially hard, because he was also dealing with newfound feelings he didn’t have a name for. Feelings that seemed to suspiciously answer the question of why none of the girls in school ever caught his interest, even when they tried really hard. Feelings that seemed to erupt around his best friend. Feelings that overcame his initially joy that one of his most persistent admirers, a pink-haired girl that had even joined the dojo to snag his attention (though he had to admit, she was scary strong), seemed to have lost interest in him… and was now focusing her attention on his blonde best friend.

He wanted to deny the feelings, especially once he got a clue what they were. Their town, while great, was definably on the more conservative side. No one like that lived there, that he knew of. He caught a showing of some ranching movie on late night TV, and was horrified at what the cowboys on the show had done to a guy who was like that. Even some of the more positive portrayals left him nervous – he didn’t want to become someone who liked Bette Midler and wore woman’s clothes, he liked being a guy. He just didn’t like girls in the way he was supposed to, even if he could see they were beautiful. A part of him was terrified that he would change even more because of this, that it was inevitable, like a disease, and all the negative things people said were justified.

But most of all, he became more and more certain that, if his parents were alive, they would have been ashamed and horrified to know that their son felt that way about other guys. He started having nightmares where his father, who was always a bit stern in his memories, stood over him and railed against him for sullying the family name. His mother would beg and plead with him, showing him picture after picture of beautiful girls. Worst of all, Naruto would look at him with shocked horror, and then run away. As his birthday drew near, the nightmares grew more gruesome. He couldn’t stop imagining what his parent’s bodies must have looked like, trapped in the wreckage of their car wreck. Sometimes, his father’s eyes would snap open and look at him accusingly, as if he was the reason they were dead – because he was like *this*.

He began to grow more sullen and withdrawn. He hooked up with some of his old friends from the city on facebook, and spent hours talking to them on the computer. He started spending less and less time at Naruto’s place, convincing himself that the blonde was finally able to spend time with his long-standing pink-haired crush. He picked fights with Itachi without provocation, and stopped going to the Dojo as much.

For a couple weeks in April, things started to get better. He came down with a bad flu right around the time of a major tournament, and he and Naruto – who was also knocked out of the tournament, thanks to a really stupid accident involving the last two steps of the school stage and a mistimed jump – spent a week just hanging out, trying to recover from their respective ailments. But he couldn’t help but feel like the blonde was walking on eggshells around him, and it made him even more mad. It didn’t even help when he overheard Naruto finally talk to his pink-haired admirer, letting her down far more gently than Sasuke ever would have. There was just too much pain inside. Everything seemed like a sick joke. Itachi was away on business more often, and even he didn’t seem to care much about how Sasuke felt. It just felt like he was placating him, playing everything off as Sasuke just being a teenager, and not really taking his complaints seriously.

Being called “foolish little brother” one too many times – even if most of the time Itachi was trying to tease him – eventually got the best off him. What did Itachi know about it? Itachi wasn’t gay. Itachi wasn’t really anything. Sometimes it seemed like Itachi didn’t even care that their parents were dead (though secretly, Sasuke knew that wasn’t true). He couldn’t stand staying here and having to deal with all this crap.

The week after school was out, he picked a fight with Itachi and stormed out of the house. Itachi hadn’t been worried at first – it seemed to be happening more and more often lately – but when Sasuke wasn’t home by one o’clock that night, he got worried and called up Naruto’s home. He started to panic a bit when he found out from Tsunade that they hadn’t seen Sasuke at all that day. When the boy still hadn’t shown up by the next morning, the panic started in earnest.

Itachi had checked Sasuke’s bank balance, and was horrified when he found out that Sasuke had withdrawn several hundred dollars from his savings the week before. He asked around, but the only thing that gained him was a very worried Naruto who started to live on his couch, waiting for the return of his best friend. He checked the phone records, but the only unusual thing he could see was a pattern of calls to numbers in their old city. None of the numbers answered when he called back – and so he did the only thing he could do.

He called the cops and gave them Sasuke’s description. Then he called up all his old college friends from the city, and asked them to keep an eye out for his little brother. He didn’t know for sure if Sasuke had gone there – he could have taken off for anywhere, as far as Itachi knew – but his friends would have his back. They all remembered how hard it had been for the brothers after their parents' death.

The only thing left to do after that was to wait. And keep restocking the cabinets with ramen.

Two weeks after Sasuke left, the waiting finally paid off.

One of his friends – a guy named Kisame, who worked at one of the less-trendy bars in the heart of the city – called and said that he was almost certain he’d seen Sasuke in amongst a crowd of kids who got thrown out of the bar for fake ids. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make Itachi pack up to go check out the city. Kakashi and Naruto came with him as well; mainly because Naruto made it very clear there was no way he was letting Itachi go without him – even if he had to ride on the top of the car.

Sasuke could admit, looking back on things now, he’d been very lucky they came when they did. He’d been at a party when another of Itachi’s friends had spotted him puking in a flowerpot, trying to handle the strange mix of drugs and alcohol his old friends pushed on him at the party. That had been the high point of the evening. The worst point came right before Naruto, Itachi, and Kakashi found him. They swooped down like a trio of avenging angels – well, Kakashi and Itachi were a bit more like angels of death, but the raven had been pretty screwed up by that point so he forgave himself the poor memory – and took him back home.

The first days back, he’d been grateful and so thankful to be home – but then the same old problems started raising their ugly heads. Suddenly, the exciting parts of the city started to outweigh the bad parts, and he started plotting ways to go back. Itachi didn’t know how to handle angry, deceptive, manipulative person his little brother had turned into seemingly overnight, so he did the only thing he could do.

He got help.

The first few sessions with his shrink Ibiki had been hell. The old man was a lot harsher than Itachi, and seemed to see through his bullshit without even blinking. He also sat back and took Sasuke’s crap without getting angry or judgmental. The only thing he responded to was the truth.

Little by little, he opened up to the man, grudgingly at first. Then one day, everything came pouring out. He even cried.

The next day, he went over to Naruto’s house for the first time in months. He also apologized – haltingly – to Itachi for everything that had happened. It wasn’t always perfect - for a few months, he still had moments where the rage threatened to spiral out of control like a gasoline fire – but it was a start.

Ibiki challenged him in each of their sessions, pushing him to learn new ways to deal with the rage, and helping him figure out how to not be so caught up in the extremes of emotion. He picked up photography as a means of self-expression, and a way to see the world more clearly, instead of just in the black and white that his passion tended to shape the world into. He learned how to talk to his friends and family about what had led up to him running away.

Even with all the newfound honesty, Ibiki was the only one he ever told about being gay. He was still too afraid of the reactions it would cause. They were still working through that fear.

When Naruto had found out about all the negatives associated with Sasuke’s official birthday, he announced that he was giving him a new “rebirth” day, and that they would be celebrating it every year instead of the old, boring, simple, “birth” day. Sasuke had scowled at the time, but secretly he was pleased. The day that Naruto picked was July 23 – the day when Sasuke had come over apologize and start to mend their friendship. Surprisingly enough, Itachi had gone with it as well. Sasuke had assumed last summer that the two would have forgotten about it, but that assumption had been rudely quashed by the huge bar-b-que surprise party that awaited him when he got home the evening of the 23rd.

Sasuke had a sneaking suspicion that they were plotting something similar this year. Although, knowing those two, they would probably try to top everything they’d done last year. He shuddered at the implications.

. . .

That Thursday evening, Sasuke sat outside down near the river near the fire pit. The evening was too hot for a fire. A cool breeze brushed up from the water. He watched the bats from the nearby caves swoop down on insects that gathered around streetlights on the other side of the river. The stars were slowly coming out as the last of the sunset faded behind him. He could hear the soft rhythmic splash of water against the dock lulling him into an almost meditative trance.

When a new sound of splashing was added to the mix, Sasuke didn’t even have to turn his head to know what it was. A few moments later, he heard the sounds of a canoe knocking against the dock. He glanced over to see Naruto setting a package up on the dock before scrambling out. He ignored the slight increase in pulse at the sight of the blonde.

“Oi, bastard,” said Naruto, walking over and snapping his fingers in front of the raven’s face. That earned him a mild glare, before Sasuke sat up and greeted his friend with a simple “Yo.”

“Aunty sent over a bag of tomatoes for you guys,” the blonde said, setting his bag down on the table next to Sasuke.

At that, Sasuke perked up, and reached for the bag. He loved tomatoes, and there was nothing better than one home-grown and fresh picked. When they were younger, he and Naruto had occasionally raided Tsunade’s tomato patch, braving the wrath of the blonde-haired woman. He grabbed one of the round fruits and bit into it, savoring the tangy taste.

He knew Naruto was watching him. The blonde was always convinced that one day – one day! – his immaculate friend would mess up and end up squirting tomato seeds all over himself. That day, of course, had not yet come.

After a minute, the blonde turned and started pacing at the edge of the patio, looking out across the river. Sasuke watched him, tossing the tomato stem into the fire pit absently. He’d seen that look before.

“Sasuke, I need to talk to you about something.” The words were softer than Naruto normally spoke.

Sasuke stiffened, watching the blonde intently. Silence hung in the air between them, though Naruto didn’t seem to notice his friend’s lack of response. Finally, the blonde sighed, and started to turn around.

“Sasuke, I’m gAAHH!”

Sasuke blinked in shock at his friend stood, face scrunched up in anger, pointing at something behind him.

“Itachi-bastard! Don’t you know not to sneak up on private conversations?!”

Sasuke turned to look and shared a smirk with his older brother. He hadn’t heard Itachi come down the steps toward them either, but that was normal – Itachi was scary sneaky when he wanted to be. He was carrying a pitcher of iced tea and a couple of glasses.

Itachi chuckled. “Naruto-kun, didn’t your aunt ever teach you how to talk to your elders?” he said, setting the pitcher and glasses down next to the bag of tomatoes. “She called a few minutes ago and said she was sending over a bag of tomatoes. I wanted to make sure I rescued a few before the great tomato monster ate them all up.”

Sasuke scowled up at him, and then snagged one more before his brother took the bag back up to the kitchen. He poured a couple of glasses of iced tea and offered one to the blonde, who took it with thanks and sat down on the edge of the lounge chair across from the raven. Sasuke watched as the blonde stared down into the tea, seemingly lost in thought. He sighed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about whatever Naruto had freezing his brain at the moment, but it was probably better to get it over with.

“You were saying, dobe?”

Naruto broke out of his daze, and looked up, glaring at Sasuke. “Teme!”

Sasuke smirked.

The blonde sighed, looking back down at his glass. “Yeah, I know. It’s just that, since we’re going to be rooming and all this fall, I really thought I should let you know that I’m..” The blonde trailed off to a whisper that Sasuke couldn’t really make out.

“You’re what?” he asked, frowning slightly.

“I’m gay! I’m gay! There, I said it! Happy now?”

Sasuke froze in shock, his wide-eyed gaze meeting the challenging blue-eyed gaze of his best friend. After a minute, the blondes face crumpled, and he looked down, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Sasuke repeated dumbly.

“Yeah, well, I remember what happened to you up there at that place…”

Sasuke could remember too. The memory was still fresh, even after two years. He’d learned ways to distance the feelings a little bit, but it was still there.

The night that Itachi and the others found him, he’d been at a party with his old friends Suigetsu and Juugo. Suigetsu was a bit older and had his own place where Sasuke stayed after he ran away from home. For a while, it seemed like the perfect place. Sasuke would use the money he’d taken out of his bank account to help pay for booze and food, and they’d spend their days playing games and getting drunk. Suigetsu had also taken to introducing Sasuke to different types of drugs. The night of the party, it was E.

He’d walked around in a daze for a bit, until he stumbled on Suigetsu and his friends talking about the poor gay friend Suigetsu was sponging off of. Suigetsu had been reticent to say anything at first, but then he joined in, joking about how it wouldn’t be much longer till the poor little rich boy had to figure out how to really earn his keep, and that being gay would probably make things easier.

Sasuke was furious. And ashamed. And dizzy. He found Juugo and bitched at him for a while, but the other kid was too stoned out of his mind to really have anything useful to say. After a bit, Sasuke had decided what he really needed was some fresh air. He ran into some blonde chick on the way out who tried to catch his arm, but he shrugged her off and made his way to the door.

A man with long black hair sat on the front steps smoking a cigarette. He’d recognized Sasuke as being Itachi’s little brother, and Sasuke could vaguely remember someone like him coming over with a group of Itachi’s friends before his parent’s had died. At first, he was worried the man would call Itachi and let him know where he was, but the man laughed that off, letting Sasuke bitch about everything that had gone on that night. When Sasuke started to feel tired, the man had offered to let him spend the night at his place. All of Sasuke’s good sense had been squashed by the haze of the alcohol, and he had agreed. He hadn’t noticed the strange gleam in the man’s yellowish eyes as they got up and started to walk off.

Even the drugs weren’t enough to block him noticing the brick wall he got shoved up against in the alleyway next to the party, however. He could still remember struggling ineffectively, hands held above him as the man leaned in and licked his face. He could still remember the hand that wandered cruelly down his body, pinching and grabbing in places where no one had touched him before. And he could still remember the words the man mumbled in between licks.

“Those eyes… you look just like him. You look just like your brother.”

A punch had knocked the man away from him, allowing Sasuke to crumple to the ground. He could remember the look of horror on Naruto’s face as he was gathered in the blonde’s arms and gently rocked. He could remember looking over to see Itachi beating the crap out of the dark haired man. Kakashi finally held him back from killing the guy, but the look on the grey-haired man’s face as he looked down at the whimpering body was cold enough to refreeze icicles.

The sound of an indrawn breath brought him back to the present. He looked over at his blonde friend, who was still looking into his glass of tea. “I’m sorry, Sasuke,” he said again. “I don’t want you to ever have to feel that way again.” He looked up at the raven. “I don’t want you to every have to worry about me like that, or worry that I’d ever do anything like that to you. If you want to switch roommates, I’d understand...”

Sasuke blinked, and then sighed. “Dobe.”

“Huh?”

“You think I wouldn’t want to room with you just because you’re gay?” He conveniently forgot his own hypocrisy in the matter.

“Well – I mean – I know you aren’t a homophobe, although if that had happened to me, I probably would be –“

Sasuke snorted. “You’d be afraid of yourself?”

“Huh? Well, no – maybe – I don’t know – it probably would have screwed me up pretty bad, that’s for sure...”

Sighing, Sasuke looked out across the water. This seemed to be a night for confessions. “It did.”

“Huh – what?”

“I said, it did.” Sasuke clinched his fists. “It did screw me up pretty badly. I’m gay too, Naruto.”

“Oh.”

The two teens were quiet for a few moments, Sasuke watching the bats again, and Naruto looking at his friend.

Finally, Naruto broke the silence. “How long?”

“A couple of years.”

“Before?”

“Before.”

Sasuke glanced over at his friend, and could see the wheels turning slowly as the blonde played things out in his head.

“You never told me.” Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the blonde. “You bastard, you never told me. You knew all this time, and you didn’t tell me? What, did you not trust me? We’re supposed to be best friends!”

“I...” Sasuke stopped, and looked down, unable to face the look of hurt on his friend’s face. “I was afraid it would change things.”

“Change things?” Naruto said, then gave a short laugh without any humor. “Huh. And I’m the idiot for thinking me being gay might make you want to change rooms.”

Sasuke was silent, unable to answer that accusation. Naruto got up and started pacing along the waterfront again. After a few minutes, he turned and looked at his friend, face blank. Then he sighed.

“I guess, of all people, I know how you felt.”

Sasuke looked up and watched his friend come back over to lie down on the lounge chair.

“What a pair we make, huh Sasuke? Both of us gay. Who’d’ve thunk it.”

Sasuke chuckled, and sat back, trying to relax. “Probably Kakashi.”

“That old pervert,” said Naruto, grinning and taking a sip of his iced tea. “I don’t even want to know all the stuff he might think about.”

Sasuke heartily agreed. “It’s a good thing you didn’t inherit that gene from your dad’s side of the family.”

Naruto looked over and grinned. “Maybe I did,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

Sasuke just rolled his eyes and looked up at the stars, enjoying the silence that drifted between them like the current of the river at night.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, however, Sasuke wasn’t nearly so calm. It seemed like the good mood of the night before had evaporated with the dawn, leaving him even more nervous. Sure, some questions were answered the night before – but the ones that were raised were almost even more daunting. What if Naruto liked guys – but didn’t like him? What if he’d figured out he was gay because he got a crush on some other guy? What if Sasuke would have to spend time listening to Naruto wax romantic over that other guy? What if, what if, what if – the questions swirled around in his head.

Add to that the knowledge that he hadn’t been completely honest with Naruto the previous night – he hadn’t said a thing about the crush he had on his best friend (Though how would he have put it? “I’m only gay for you, Naruto?” Not a Sasuke thing to do at all), which left him feeling vaguely guilty. It was one thing to know your best friend liked guys – quite another to know that you were the one your best friend fantasized about. He remembered the time when he’d accidentally been copied on an email between a couple of girls talking about him like he was a piece of meat. It wasn’t an experience he wanted to repeat.

So, when he saw Naruto’s orange bug in the parking lot of the community college they were attending that summer, he deliberately parked far away from it. After class, he hurried out to his car, hoping to avoid the blonde instead of meeting up with him and their other friends for lunch like he normally did. When he slammed into the kitchen at home, he was surprised to find that Itachi was already there.

“What are you doing home in the middle of the day?” Sasuke asked.

Itachi just looked at him.

Sasuke sighed. “Fine. Good afternoon, aniki.”

Itachi glanced over at the clock on the microwave, and smirked when he saw it was 12:01. “Good afternoon, little brother. I trust you had a good day at school?”

Pulling open the refrigerator, Sasuke said, “its college now.”

“Ah yes. My little boy is all growing up. So sad.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the older man. Itachi was only seven years older than him, but always tried to act like the gap between their ages was much larger. He’d had to grow up fast after their parents died. He’d been in his third year of college at the university in the city, almost done with his degree (being, of course, a massive overachiever). After their deaths, he finished things up as quickly as possible and took a job in a small town a few hours south of the city. Their relatives had been a bit worried about him trying to raise Sasuke on his own – but even though they’d run into a few bumps and bruises on the way, Itachi was pleased at how things turned out.

Besides, the occasional slamming of a refrigerator door and sulking into the den without a word of apology was all a part of Sasuke’s charm.

Wiping his hands on a towel, Itachi followed Sasuke into the den. The black-haired boy sat in a chair by the back window, looking over at Naruto’s back yard. Itachi followed the direction of his gaze.

“You and Naruto seemed to be having a pretty serious talk last night,” Itachi said.

Sasuke just shrugged.

“Everything ok?”

A monosyllabic grunt was the only response. Itachi smirked, and then turned to go back into the kitchen. “By the way, since I’m home, want me to make you some lunch? Maybe a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato?”

“Sure,” Sasuke said, just loud enough that Itachi could hear him. A minute or two later, Itachi heard the expected “Thank you.”

He glanced out at the den as he chopped up a tomato. Sasuke just sat in the same chair. He’d lifted a hand to the glass and was tapping on it to some secret inner rhythm, lost in thought.

. . .

“Aunty, I’m home!” Naruto cried out as he burst through the front door of his house. He cocked his head from side to side waiting on an answer, but when none was forthcoming, he shrugged and turned to lock the door.

His aunt ran a health food store in the heart of town, and sometimes she didn’t have time to take the afternoon off. He was convinced that at least half of the plants in his backyard had medicinal qualities. His friend Sakura had used his aunt as a resource for a directed course of study she did their senior year about non-traditional medicine, and tended to rave about everything Tsunade had taught her whenever the subject came up.

In fact, she’d been in southern Asia or somewhere when Naruto was born, out of contact with the civilized world while she did research and (according to Kakashi, once he felt Naruto was old enough to hear – so, 12) engaging in other extra-curricular activities. It took years for her to hear the news about his parent’s deaths, and how his mother had wanted her to have custody. Years that Kakashi felt he had still not paid her back for, since raising a baby was not exactly on his talent list. Finally, Naruto’s godfather – a world-traveler himself – had gone after her, dragging her out of her current den of thieves and getting her sobered up enough to understand what had happened. She rushed back as soon as she heard.

That, of course, was not the version she told to Naruto – she conveniently skipped over a few important details, preferring instead to focus on the tearful first meeting between her and her five-year-old nephew – but it made Naruto grin to think of his aunt, who normally tried to act so proper and responsible, being just as much of a scallywag at heart as his other parental influences.

When he walked into the kitchen, his eyes lit up at the packages on the kitchen table. “Yes!” he said. “They got them done in time!”

Rushing to the table, he unwrapped the smaller package first. It was the picture Sasuke had taken of him the weekend before, framed and matted. He let a small smile grace his lips as he traced over the glass lightly with his fingertips, before setting the picture aside and carefully attacking the larger package.

He unwrapped the bubble-wrap from the framed picture, then set it on a chair, stepping back to look at it critically. He nodded to himself, pleased that the colors of the matting worked just right with the colors in the painting. Glancing over at the photograph on the kitchen table, he shook his head. The two pictures worked so well together – and he and Sasuke hadn’t even been trying this time. Naruto had finished the painting a few days before the picture had been taken, and Sasuke didn’t know about it – yet. Grinning, Naruto rewrapped the painting, and put it in the box.

Grabbing the framed photograph, Naruto continued into the living room, pausing to admire the paintings on the walls. The first set was a vertical pair. The top was a shot Sasuke had taken of the aqueduct at night, lit up from the bottom by different colored lights. The old structure looked just like the old-style aqueducts the Roman’s used to build, with a layer of sloping arches holding up the concrete waterway above. Sasuke had used the colored lights to make sure that Naruto’s painting could tie in just right. It was a painting of black koi highlighted primary colors swimming in dark blue water. They arched against each other in an echo of the arches up above, which was echoed again by the ripples of water below.

In the next set, Sasuke’s picture was on the bottom. It was a photograph of the old railroad bridge, shot at an angle so the top of the bridge wasn’t visible, just the struts reaching up into the sky. The river was barely visible on either side of the bridge below the tracks. In the painting above, Naruto had added onto the struts, stretching them out and turning them from rusty black into grey, intertwining them like vines until they became swallowed up by clouds of the sky. In the distance, below the arch of meeting vines, a lone figure clung to a balloon and flew through the air to places unknown.

The photograph by the steps leading upstairs was a solitary picture. It was black and white, done while Sasuke had been going through an Ansel Adams phase. It was framed on one side by trees at the edge of a snow-encrusted meadow, breaking out into a breath-taking view of mountain heights and a moon at half-phase overhead. Naruto grinned, checking his watch and taking account of the time. Soon, they’d be in those very same mountains!

He ran up the stairs to his bedroom, and then glanced out the window towards Sasuke’s house. The bastard hadn’t shown up for lunch today, not that Naruto was half-surprised. His friend always did horribly the day after emotional announcements. It was almost like he was worried that if he showed any sort of vulnerability, no one would like him anymore. The day after his first re-birthday, Naruto had had to go over to his house and drag him kicking and screaming to go see an action movie.

Not that it really mattered today. Sasuke probably would’ve been bored at lunch. He and Kiba had been wrapped up in a discussion of the manga they were working on together, Kiba writing the story and Naruto drawing it out. They were trying to get as much work done as possible before they went off to school in the fall. Kiba wasn’t going to the same school as Naruto and Sasuke – he wanted to be an English major, and their university didn’t really take “light” majors that seriously – but he wouldn’t be that far away, going to a state university about an hour up the road that had a great English program. Still, it was safe to say they would probably be too busy to get together on a regular basis.

Naruto pulled out a suitcase and started packing, throwing clothes in haphazardly, just making sure they were clean. They were only going to be gone for the weekend, but they had dinner reservations at seven at some hoity-toity French restaurant the bastard was sure to love. Naruto personally would have preferred some big party here with all their friends – but he knew Sasuke. Even though the raven had admitted – grudgingly – that he’d enjoyed the party they threw for him last year, Naruto was pretty sure he’d enjoy this weekend of quiet even more.

Their French teacher had taken them to the restaurant on a fieldtrip the previous spring. Naruto didn’t see why he needed to take a foreign language – especially not three years, when technically he only had to have two! – but the bastard had talked him into it. Not that he hadn’t understood. Even if Sakura had gotten over her silly crush – on both of them, thank goodness – there were a handful of other girls in the class who were swooning over the idea of the raven talking in the “language of love”. He wouldn’t’ve wanted to be subjected to that alone, either – even if he was sure a couple of the girls talked about the two of them openly in code. Who the hell names their cats “Mr. Black” and “Snoochums” anyways?

Sasuke, of course, was brilliant at French. He was almost positive the bastard could speak at least four languages fluently – and that wasn’t even counting the crazy C sharp, Java, Perl, whatever the hell else the bastard talked to computers in. The only hard subject Naruto had a chance of edging Sasuke out in was math, and there it was really that Naruto got the concrete stuff better while Sasuke got the abstract stuff better. He was still pleased, although the calculus class he was taking this summer was really kicking his ass.

The conversation he’d had the night before with Sasuke gave him hope – though he was still mad at the bastard for not telling him sooner. Hell, if Sasuke had said something, maybe he would’ve figured out his own sexuality sooner! He remembered how clueless he’d been back in tenth grade when kissing Sakura didn’t really do anything for him. He’d let her off easy – though he still felt bad about making her cry. The one person he might’ve talked to about it – the bastard – was, at that point, not really talking to him. More like yelling. Or making cutting remarks. Cutting remarks that were serious, and not just darkly teasing like normal.

That spring had royally sucked. It started off good – he finally caught the attention of the pink-haired beauty of his dreams – but things had slowly started to spiral down. Some of the things were just stupid, like the time he jumped off the last two – last two! – steps leading down from the school stage, only to land wrong on one of his feet and strain the ligaments on the outside of his ankle. He’d always thought their high school was cool – almost like a mini-college campus – but having to navigate all those steps and try to go up and down hills on crutches had been awful. He’d hoped, after the week he spent cooped up with the bastard trying to get over the worst of the injury, that the two of them had gotten over whatever little spat had been brewing in Sasuke’s mind. Things had gone even faster downhill from there, though, and the question of his sexuality was put on the back burner.

It was only when he and Kiba began researching different manga art styles that he started to really get a clue. And then, there was that weird kid Sai in his art class, who was so openly gay and gothy it was scary, even if he’d dragged his best girl friend to prom in a dress with cutouts that left no question as to whether or not she was wearing underwear. For a minute, Naruto worried – what if Sasuke knew he was gay because he had a crush on Sai? Then he remembered that Sai had only transferred in the spring of their junior year, and Sasuke had known for a lot longer. Man, this relationship stuff was complicated.

He heard the doorbell ring downstairs, and glanced at his watch. Almost time! He’d spent too much time daydreaming and not enough time packing. He stuffed a few more random pair of underwear in the side of his duffel bag, and ran down the stairs. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” he shouted out, trying to make sure his feet didn’t give out on him and make him trip as he barreled down the steps. Huffing, he saw Kakashi in the kitchen.

The grey-haired man was grinning. “Ready for your date?”

Naruto scowled at him. “I should never have talked to you about that. This isn’t a date; it’s just a re-birthday weekend.”

“Maa, maa, if you say so. I told Itachi you wanted to blindfold Sasuke on the way up there, though.”

Naruto paled. If Itachi guessed at the secret desires Naruto had for his baby brother, there was no telling how he’d react. He might even decide to ship Sasuke off to some college in Japan or someplace crazy like that, and he’d never see the raven again! Or well, maybe not – but Itachi could be even more unpredictable than the blonde at times.

Kakashi laughed at the sick look on his nephew’s face. “For the surprise, of course – no other ulterior motive,” he said, waggling his eyebrows in a way that was eerily similar to the way the blonde had acted the night before.

“Oh. Heh. I’m sure Sasuke will love that idea.” Naruto snickered. “Grab the box and let’s go! I don’t want to be late.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Artsy-ness sir!” said the grey-haired man, picking up the box with the picture in it and following Naruto out to the car.

Naruto grinned to himself. Even if this wasn’t a date – and it wasn’t, even if he secretly wished it could be – it was going to be an awesomely amazing weekend.

. . .

Sasuke looked down at the black strip of cloth in Itachi’s hands in shock. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“But it’s a mystery trip, Sasuke-kun! Don’t you want it to be a surprise?” Itachi said, pouting.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows and looked at the older man. “No.”

For a few minutes, Sasuke found himself locked in a staring contest with his older brother. He had to give Itachi credit. He was probably the only person who could out-stare the raven. Finally, weighing certain doom against the price of his dignity, Sasuke grabbed the strip of cloth out of his brother’s hands and sighed. “Fine. But I’m only putting it on in the car. And I’m not going to wear it the whole way wherever we’re going.”

He blinked as he felt a hand pat him on the top of the head. “And I am not a good boy!”

Itachi just cackled, and made his way to the front door, opening it to their guests.

Sasuke blushed as he saw Naruto, and turned away, tightening his fist around the black cloth. This really wasn’t a good idea – or maybe he should make Naruto wear the blindfold? Naughty images of the blonde's blue eyes covered by the black blindfold as he lay on white sheets filled the raven’s mind, and he willed them away. Really, really, really not a good idea. Damn Itachi.

He grabbed his bags, awkwardly shuffling past the blonde and his sensei with his eyes on the ground. He didn’t notice the worried look that crossed Naruto’s face. When he got in the car, his eyes met those of his sensei in the rearview mirror.

“Oh, so you decided to wear the blindfold after all, Sasuke?” said the grey-haired man. “I’m sure that –“

Whatever else he was going to say was cut off by a swift kick from the blond sitting behind him. Sasuke and Itachi looked at him in surprise, but Naruto just shrugged. “You learn early on to cut a pervert off at the pass.”

The raven snorted, and tied the black cloth behind his head, fitting it over his eyes. Like a blindfold was going to keep him from figuring out where they were going. It didn’t keep him from playing twenty questions with the other three as they got on the road or from kicking the blonde’s ass and smirking at the outraged cries of “Hey! You cheated, bastard!” that filled the car whenever the idiot lost. The normalcy of the moment made him relax. He wasn’t sure what the others had up their sleeves this year, but at least – hopefully – it wasn’t another crazy party.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto glanced over at a sleeping Sasuke. The raven had dozed off about an hour into their trip, after the men in the front seats had tired of the whole twenty questions game. Not that Naruto blamed him – he was feeling pretty relaxed himself. The heat from the sun was competing with the air conditioner that didn’t quite reach far enough into the back seat and the quiet murmur of the two up front was enough to lull anyone into a trance-like state, which was why the blonde had broken out the iPod to keep from going to sleep.

He was currently listening to some random reggaeton, tapping his foot to the beat as he concentrated on the sketch in his lap. It had started out as a random sketch of the raven next to him, but he’d let it morph into something more abstract. He secretly loved these moments, moments where he could just draw whatever came to him without the pressure of making it something presentable. It was like letting his soul speak, even if it didn’t communicate anything at all. Art, he was convinced, had its own language, where at some level it didn’t really matter if anyone understood. It was what it was.

He lifted his pen from the paper just in time to protect the sketch from a stray bump in the road.

“Sorry about that,” muttered Kakashi. “Construction.”

Naruto sighed, and put away the sketch pad. “No problem.” He flipped his iPod to something a little softer, and turned his head to watch his sleeping friend for a bit. He was a bit worried about the way Sasuke had been acting earlier, and that the raven had taken so long to tell him his secret. He knew the raven wasn’t always as strong as he pretended to be, and that there were times when he would rather try to hide from a problem instead of deal with it. Sometimes it felt like a part of him was willing to give up on this whole business entirely, because dealing with it was too hard.

It frustrated Naruto. “Never Give In. Never Give In. Never, Never, Never, Never” – that was one of his mantras, by a guy named Winston Churchill. He had even stenciled it above his door (over the protests of his aunt, who wasn’t sure he needed more encouragement to be stubborn). Sasuke was his precious person, and no matter what, he’d be there for him. But he didn’t always understand him.

He sighed and flipped his music over to Shugo Tokumaru and caught Itachi watching him in the rearview mirror. He grinned at him widely and waved, heartened at the smirk that crossed the older raven's face before he turned back to his conversation with Kakashi. Naruto leaned his head against the window and watched the scenery as they climbed into the mountains. After a while, the strangely peaceful music worked its spell over him, and he too succumbed to sleep.

. . .

Sasuke woke with a start when the car stopped. Scowling, he tore off the blindfold and looked around. Naruto was already bounding out of the car clutching his sketchbook. He looked the other way and saw pine trees. They were on the driveway of a cabin, and he could see some very familiar mountains in the distance. A feeling of warmth suffused his heart. His crazy older brother and idiot best friend had somehow actually come up with a place he would love to be for this weird little “re-birthday” celebration thing. He could feel the peace coming over him – peace that was shattered by a blond who came and open his door, yelling “Sasuke! Sasuke! You have to come look, this is the coolest place!”

Slowly following the insistent blond, Sasuke had to agree. The cabin was two stories, and even from the outside he could see it seemed to twist on itself, the second story set at an angle. The bottom portion was covered in large grey and cream stones, and the top was a weathered reddish wood. It looked like the porch ran all the way around the house, and there was a deck on the second story. The owners had left the surrounding wildlife in its natural state, and the decorations they did have around the front only served to emphasize the rustic, naturalistic setting. He could barely see another house downhill through the trees, a good distance away.

Itachi had talked every so often about getting a cabin up here, or maybe a timeshare, but nothing ever came of it. Normally, whenever the older raven mentioned he was thinking of coming up, one or another of his clients would offer to let him use their place. As a result, he and Sasuke had seen several different cabins over the years, each with its own view of the surrounding area. This was one of the best, though.

Entering the cabin, he could see the decor was very open and light, with white walls and pale tile floors acented by rustic stained-wood ceilings. The door entered straight into a small living room with a good-sized TV on the left, and a dining area to the right. Further in, there was another sitting area set down a couple steps with a couch arranged in front of a big stone fireplace. The kitchen was on the right, with a big open window between it and the dining room. Sasuke saw the blond at the far end of the cabin, urging him to follow him upstairs so he could show him their rooms. The raven glanced suspiciously at the pile of boxes next to the door, and then followed the blonde.  
There were four decent-sized bedrooms upstairs. Evidently, Itachi had designated one of the east-facing rooms as Sasuke’s room, because all his stuff was there, including his precious camera bag. There were sliding glass doors that led out to the deck. He slipped out there and took in a deep breath of the mountain air. His reverie was broken by the sound of the glass door behind him. He turned and saw, instead of the blond, the face of his brother.

Itachi nodded a greeting and came to stand by him on the deck. “Not what you were expecting?”

Sasuke shrugged, but his shoulders were relaxed, and he leaned on the railing as he looked out over the view spread before him.

Itachi let a small smile flit across his face before checking his watch. “We need to leave in about ten minutes, so I’d suggest you get cleaned up pretty quick.”

“Hn,” Sasuke said, not turning. As he heard Itachi open the door back into the cabin, he murmured a quiet, “Thank you.”

Itachi paused, allowing himself another small smile before slipping inside.

Soon afterwards, Sasuke followed, finding his way to the restroom to freshen up. He frowned as his hair still continued to disobey his best efforts to make it behave, insisting on standing up at the back in what Naruto dubbed a “duck-butt.” He’d even tried growing it out a bit their senior year, but it still stood up. He envied his older brothers hair, which was always perfect no matter what he did to it.

Naruto banged on the bathroom door. “Sasuke! Let’s go! We don’t want to be late!”

The raven scowled at his reflection.

“Sasuke!”

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”

He gave his reflection one last look then went down to the car, ignoring the immature blond's stuck-out tongue. Surprisingly, he was rather eager to see what else they had planned for the evening.

. . .

Naruto was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he walked down the sidewalk, looking every which way. They’d parked in a lot behind the main street, and were making their way past the shops filled with every sort of item that people might buy in a resort town like this.

“Honestly dobe, I don’t know why you’re so excited. It’s mainly just tourist junk, and you’ve been here before anyways,” Sasuke said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and following behind the blond. Totally not sneaking a peak at his ass.

“Teme!” Naruto exclaimed, turning around and glaring at him – though Sasuke snapped his eyes up quick enough to not get caught. By the blond at least. The grey-haired man beside them had a slight smirk on his face. Itachi was walking alone at the front of the group, acting way too cool to be a part of the rest of them.

“Ne, ne, Kakashi!” the blond exclaimed, turning around and walking backwards as he talked. “Can we come back here tomorrow and go shopping? These places look so cool!”  
“Well, I don’t know. It’s Sasuke’s weekend, after all, and he might have other things he would want to do.”

“Eh?” Naruto replied, looking downcast for a moment. Sasuke’s eyes widened as his friend almost tripped over his own feet, then met a pouty blue-eyed glare. After a minute, the blue eyes gained a look that made Sasuke almost gulp, and the blond had a slight smile on his face when he turned around. “Hmph.”

Sasuke sighed internally, and was calculating his chances of being able to not have to spend the next afternoon having to deal with “helping” the blond pick through tourist kitsch when they stopped in front of a restaurant. His eyes lit up as he recognized the name, meeting the eyes of his older brother. Itachi smirked, then broke into a huge grin and came over and bear-hugged the raven. “Happy re-birthday, little brother!” he said, ignoring the fact that said brother was threatening to turn blue and croaking out the words “Must… breathe…” against his neck.

It didn’t take them long to be seated. The maitre d’ made a little bit of noise about how they would have to wait, but after Itachi made it very clear that they had long-standing reservations, he quickly clammed up and showed them to a lovely table in the corner next to a fountain. Kakashi and Itachi took the chairs next to the wall (much to Sasuke’s consternation, he hated having the entire room at his back), and Naruto sat across from Kakashi. They took a moment to look over the menus. Sasuke’s anticipation of the coming meal was marred by a certain blond idiot who didn’t seem to be able to read the menu without mouthing the words out loud.

“Soup de poison,” murmured the blond.

“Poisson,” Sasuke corrected.

“Eh? That’s what I said! Poison!”

Sasuke’s eye started to twitch. The next time he corrected the blond, he felt a foot kick his shin under the table.

“Dobe! Maybe I should just order for you,” he sneered.

“Teme! It’s your re-birthday, I should order for you!”

Sasuke failed to see the logic in that and glared at the idiot, who was giving as good as he got. A slight banging on the table across from him made him look over into the very cool eyes of one mildly pissed-off Uchiha.

“Boys,” Itachi said in a deceptively quiet voice. “If you can’t start behaving like you should in a nice restaurant, I’ll order for both of you. I hear they have excellent escargot.”

Both boys froze for a moment, and then Naruto leaned towards Sasuke, not taking his eyes from the older very scary man next to him. “Escar – what?” he whispered to the raven.  
“Snails,” Sasuke whispered back, glancing over at his friend and being rewarded by the faint green tinge that graced the blond’s cheeks.

Kakashi interrupted this wonderful moment by calling the waiter over and ordering a bottle of wine for the table. After some discussion about the boys ages and the older men’s respective legal guardianship of the two (Kakashi and Tsunade had joint custody, legally), the waiter left. He returned in a moment with a bottle of Bordeaux, opening it and letting Kakashi test a sip. After being satisfied that the wine was to their liking, Kakashi poured a glass for each of them and led them in a toast to Sasuke’s re-birthday. Naruto and Sasuke watched the grey-haired man over their wine glasses hoping to catch a glimpse of his face when he took a drink, but he interrupted them by saying, “Oh look! I think they’re setting that duck on fire!”

When they glanced back, they were disappointed to see that the wine was gone. Sighing to themselves, they each took a sip of the wine. Sasuke held it on his tongue for a moment, letting the complex flavors wash over him. Itachi didn’t let him drink very often – after the stunt he pulled a couple summers ago, there hadn’t been anything stronger than milk in the house for months – but occasionally he let him try a sip of wine, to help “educate his palate.” This was a good wine. They talked for a bit before the waiter came over to take their order, and Sasuke was surprised to find that he didn’t flinch very much when Naruto (predictably) butchered “Magret de Canard Rotie, Risotto au Fromage et sa Sauce au Melon”, and he was particularly pleased with his “Gateau de Crabe Bleu aux Capres.” Naruto kept giving him an odd look when he took a bite of the crab cakes, though, and he didn’t quite know why.

Sasuke would have been pleased to finish the dinner off with the traditional cheese course, but Naruto insisted on ordering desert.

“You know I don’t like sweets,” he told Naruto.

“Aww, but Sasuke – it’s your re-birthday dinner! You have to have desert! Just share one with me, come on!”

Once again, Sasuke was underwhelmed by the logic of this statement. He glanced at the two older men, but quickly saw that no help would be forthcoming from their direction. He looked into the pouty blue eyes for a minute, and then narrowed his gaze. “Fine. But! I get to pick –“

“No problem!”

“- and! No shopping tomorrow, we figure out something different to do.”

“But!”

“Your choice, Naruto,” Sasuke said, smirking at the blond.

“Aww, fine,” he said, shoving the desert menu at the raven, unable to resist a parting, “bastard.”

Sasuke looked over the offending menu trying to find something he might possibly enjoy. He paused halfway down the list at an orange mousse with light white cake covered in a dark chocolate sauce. His tongue flicked out quickly to wet his lips, an action that did not go unnoticed by a certain blue-eyed blonde. Sasuke didn’t admit to anyone his attraction to dark chocolate, but he really didn’t mind it at all. And, he thought – looking up at the blond, who was concentrating hard on his water glass – it might be a little bit interesting to share the desert with Naruto. As friends, of course.

The desert, when it came, was absolutely delicious. Sasuke was surprised at how well the orange mousse – which, thankfully, was not too sweet – played off against the dark chocolate. He closed his eyes for a minute, savoring the taste, and missed the blue eyes that watched his lips as the spoon came out of his mouth. He was able to see that the blond enjoyed the desert as well, and was surprised when their forks clashed on the last bite, pulling back to allow Naruto to have it.

“No, you take it Sasuke, it’s your re-birthday,” the blonde said with a slight blush.

“No, it’s ok, I’m full,” the raven lied. The look on the other boys face as he took the bite was more than worth it, though. Catching himself, Sasuke glanced up at the other two men to see if they suspected anything, but the two were deep in discussion of the relative merits of Hong Kong versus Japanese Martial Arts films.

The walk back to the car after dinner was quiet, and they all in unspoken agreement rolled their windows down for the ride back to the cabin. They made Sasuke sit on the couch in front of the TV when they got back. He balked at wearing the blindfold again, but promised to close his eyes as the other three got their gifts ready and brought them around.

The first gift was from Kakashi, a year’s membership at a local Dojo in the town of their new university. Sasuke wasn’t extremely surprised – Itachi had gotten the same thing for Naruto on his birthday a couple months earlier – but it still made him happy. Other than Itachi, he would probably miss the Dojo and Kakashi-sensei’s training the most of his home-town, and he was glad to know that his new teacher would be someone that Kakashi trusted to continue training them.

The second gift was from Itachi. Sasuke blinked as he pulled out the box. It was a Panasonic Lumix DMC-GH1 digital camera. He looked suspiciously at his brother – he’d been researching the camera online every so often, but hadn’t mentioned anything to Itachi.

The older man shrugged. “I figured since you wouldn’t have as easy an access to your own darkroom, you might like to try out digital photography.”

Sasuke pulled out the camera and hummed in pleasure, turning the camera on and starting to flip through its different modes. He was tempted to take out the owner’s manual and start reading, but looked up to see a slightly nervous-looking blond. He quickly put the camera away.

Naruto awkwardly pushed a large thin box at him, and his eyes widened as he realized what it probably was. He opened the top of the box and pulled out a picture, turning it around to look at it properly. He blinked in surprise.

It was a picture of him, done in watercolor and ink. He knew without having to look that it was Naruto’s, although the style was much more realistic than his normal painting style. Sasuke had seen the blond do similar work on his architecture designs, though. He turned the painting toward the light to get a better view.

In the picture, he was sitting on the ground, his legs drawn up, resting his chin on his knees. It was night-time, and hills rose in the background. The landscape was that of the desert-like brush land that surrounded their town. A pale moon had washed most of the color from the landscape, and was surrounded in the sky by a spattering of bright stars. This cool was balanced by the warmth of a fire in front of Sasuke’s feet. He was looking into the fire, the warm hues bouncing off his skin and throwing hints of red into his dark eyes. He didn’t look pensive, like Sasuke though he normally looked when they went out camping on nights like that. Instead, he looked calm, at peace.

“Naruto,” he said.

“Hmm?”

“It’s amazing. Thank you.” He glanced up in time to see the pleased look on the blond’s face before the blue eyes looked down abashedly. Naruto always got shy about taking complements about his work. Sasuke looked down at the painting again, tracing his fingers lightly over the glass as if he could feel the colors. It did amaze him what the dobe was able to pull off with just a few shades of paint. He couldn’t remember a picture that would have been used as reference for the picture, either, but then again Naruto had the craziest memory for images sometimes.

After a few minutes, Kakashi got up and started to clear away the wrapping paper. Sasuke broke out of his trance and glanced over at the blond again, who was glancing down at his jeans, a small smile playing over his mouth. Itachi was checking out the movie selections in the cabinet next to the TV.

“If you want to put your gifts away, we can watch a movie,” the older raven said.  
Sasuke nodded. He turned to pick up the camera box, and his hand brushed against the tan hand of his best friend. They both pulled back at the same time. “Here, I’ll help you if you want,” the blond muttered, looking down.

“Thanks,” Sasuke said quietly, leaving the camera box to his best friend and picking up the painting and the envelope with the gift certificate in it. For a moment, he hesitated, pondering the possible outcomes of Naruto, stairs, and an expensive camera – then decided the painting he held was worth more to him anyways. He followed the blond up the stairs to his room, setting the painting down gently. He knelt down, looking at it, and then glanced up at the blond in the doorway. The dim light of the overhead deepened the blue of his eyes. The raven stood and shared a long glance with the blond. Neither of them said anything, and after a moment they both turned to go back downstairs. The spell was broken when Naruto smelled fresh popcorn, grabbing the bowl from Kakashi’s hands and plopping down in the middle of the couch as the previews came on. Sasuke sighed, then smirked and sat down next to the blond, leaning against the arm of the couch. Even if the movie left something to be desired – and he cringed a bit when he noticed the kung-fu flick seemed to star a talking hand – the day had been amazing, and he wouldn’t’ve traded it for the world.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, sunlight spread across a pale face, highlighting lashes that fluttered, face screwing up in irritation before turning away from the window and opening to reveal sleepy black eyes. It was early. Too early. But there was no denying it – he was now officially awake.

Sasuke sighed and turned onto his back, bringing an arm up to shield his eyes from the offending sun. He’d been having a very nice dream, about something, what was it – Naruto in a tub of orange mousse, covered in dark chocolate, eating it off himself? Sasuke blinked. Normally he agreed with his subconscious, but now, his awake mind was supplying all sorts of unnecessary objections, like how messy it would be to actually be in that situation. Making a face, he sat up and looked around the room.

His eyes alighted on his gifts from the previous night. The painting still amazed him. He watched as a beam of sunlight inched over its surface, and was struck by a sudden inspiration to test out how it looked next to the picture he had taken the weekend before. He wasn’t sure, but it seemed like the two would complement each other well, though the painting was a darker blue than the photograph.

He then looked at the camera box, glancing out the window and thinking to himself. He’d lay odds that Naruto was still sleeping; he might even sleep for the next couple hours, unless someone woke him up. That would give him some time to get better acquainted with his new possession. He rolled out of bed and walked cat-light to the door, slipping through and going to the bathroom trying not to wake anyone up.

The rest of the house was silent. Sasuke suspected that Itachi was already up – his brother had always been an early riser – and had no clue what Kakashi was up to. On second thought, Kakashi was probably lying in bed reading porn. The raven snorted. It was amazing he was still allowed to teach children at all, considering his reading habits.

He let himself back into his bedroom, and took the camera box back over to his bed. Sitting down cross-legged, he opened the box up and took the camera and its manual out. He flipped back and forth through the manual. He’d never been into digital photography before – being able to develop your own film appealed to the purist in him – but he was curious to branch out. Especially with this camera. It wasn’t one of those dinky little things that Itachi played with that wouldn’t let you change the lenses, and gave you pictures with barely enough resolution to work on a computer screen. No, this one was a beauty. And, it had the ability to shoot videos, as well.

For a minute, the idea of videos led to other not quite so innocent thoughts. He tugged his mind away from those thoughts. Even being able to use the camera for other types of pictures, though, that would be nice. He watched the sunlight play over his skin, and thought about capturing the image of blond hair, tan skin, the curve of a neck. Before his subconscious started in with suggestions about sneaking into the blond’s room while he was still asleep – ack, too late! – Sasuke put the manual down and thought a minute about why he was suddenly so relaxed with the idea. It wasn’t just because Naruto had come out to (with?) him, was it?

He thought about the previous night, and glanced back over to the painting. It felt like things had changed between them – but in a good way. He remembered the short touches they’d shared, and the slight blush that had adorned the boy’s cheeks when he’d offered him the last bite of desert. For the first time, he wondered, what if – maybe, possibly – what if Naruto might return his feelings? Or at least, was attracted to him? He wasn’t a bad looking guy, he supposed – though he stubbornly refused the stray thought to get up try and check out his own ass – girls certainly made no secret of their opinion on that.

It was almost as if being able to look at a picture of how his best friend saw him, as calm and not just angsty, changed some perspective inside. At least for the morning. He still found himself full of what ifs, but they were deeper. Somehow more serious. Like, what if these fantasies could be real, and not just something ungraspable? Ok, maybe not the fantasy about orange mousse and dark chocolate – though chocolate sauce – yeah, back on subject. But really being able to love the dobe, and show it, and be loved back in return. He wondered how it would change things.

He picked up the camera and walked outside, lifting it up for a few test shots of the distant mountains. Hearing the faint rustle of paper from down below, he aimed the camera and took a few shots of Itachi reading the morning paper. The older man looked up and back at him, then crooked his finger, gesturing for his brother to join him downstairs. As Sasuke walked down the hall toward the stairs, he noticed the blond’s door was open and gave into temptation, snapping a couple of shots of the dobe sleeping, mouth slightly open, light blue sheets pulled up to his neck. Smirking, Sasuke continued on downstairs and went outside on the deck.

“You’re in an uncommonly good mood this morning,” Itachi said, folding up the paper and laying it on the table.

The younger raven just shrugged and leaned against the railing, zooming in on a few wildflowers at the base of a tree across the way.

“Do you have any idea what you want to do today?”

Sasuke turned back to his brother and sat down, resting the camera carefully on the table before him. He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully and said, “Well, I think Naruto and Kakashi may just be lazy this morning. I thought maybe I could go for a walk.”

Itachi nodded. “I’d go with you, but I have some business to take care of here. Will probably take most of the day,” he said apologetically.

“It’s ok,” Sasuke said. He knew Itachi had taken most of the day off yesterday for the trip, and it was a busy time of year for him.

“Maybe we can go out and have breakfast or something tomorrow, just the two of us?”

“Sure.” The younger raven looked at his brother thoughtfully. At some point, he should probably let his brother know about his – um – leanings. Preferably somewhere away from too many sharp objects, but in public should be safe. He gulped internally. And if things went wrong, at least he’d have one more day with the blond before he left this earth. You never could tell how Itachi would react sometimes.

“Is everything ok?”

“Hm? Yeah, fine.”

“Hn.” The older raven stared at his brother, not quite sure how to read him. “Well,” he said finally, deciding to let things pass – teens could be moody, he supposed it was part of the job description – “do you know what you’re going to want to do this afternoon? I’m assuming that shopping is out.”

Sasuke made a face at his brother’s smirk. “Yeah,” he said, “I was thinking about going mountain biking. There’s a trail up on the north end of town that looks interesting.”

Itachi nodded. “Sounds like fun.”

Sasuke stood up and grabbed his camera. “I’ll be back for lunch.”

His old brother just opened up the paper, waving at him absently as he walked off the porch into the woods.

. . .

“Ne, Sasuke, where’ve you been?”

The blond was sitting in front of the TV messing around with an old video game. Sasuke came and sat beside him, setting his camera down on the coffee table in front of them. “Walking, dobe. Aren’t you the one who tells me I’m to pale and need more time in the sun?”

Naruto chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “Well yeah, but you could’ve left a note here or something.”

“Itachi knew. You’re to level 58 already?”

A fox-like grin was his only reply.

“I’m surprised you could even make it to level two.”

“Hey!”

“Naruto,” came a voice from the other room, “did you tell Sasuke his lunch is in the kitchen?”

Blue eyes opened wide. “Oops. Hey bastard, there’s food for you in the kitchen.”

The raven snorted. “Thanks Kakashi,” he yelled out. He thumped Naruto in the shoulder before getting up to go get his food.

He was checking his hamburger out to make sure there were no onions when he heard, “Hey Sas, these pictures are pretty awesome, even if you did take them.”

Sasuke smirked, and yelled back, “Don’t break the camera, moron.”

“Che, bastard, as if!”

Sasuke chuckled and wraped his hamburger back up. He was pouring himself a glass of milk when a thought popped into his mind. Too late.

“Um, Sasuke, why are there pictures on your camera of me sleeping?”

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

. . .

“I don’t know if I buy the whole blackmail thing, Sasuke.”

They were in a bike shop on the north end of town. Sasuke was checking out a black jersey with red flames running up the sides. He was pondering to himself whether it was permissible to buy himself his own re-birthday gift. And trying to ignore the pestering of a certain blond.

“And I don’t know why you wouldn’t let me delete the photos,” said blond grumbled.

Sasuke snorted. “How am I supposed to blackmail you if I don’t have the pictures?”

“Hmph.”

That idea, the raven was certain, had been inspired. Possibly inspired by his brother, but maybe it was just that genius ran in the family. He was just glad he’d been in the kitchen when Naruto had said that, because he wasn’t sure the blush he’d been wearing would’ve helped sell his story.

For a moment, Sasuke enjoyed a few minutes of blessed silence. Then, the silence was broken.

“Hey, I know!” The blond was right behind Sasuke, and louder than he needed to be. But Sasuke did not jump. Or flinch. That was just a blink. “Sasuke’s in loooooove with me,” Naruto said in a sing-song voice.

Ok, that was a flinch. Sasuke counted to five, breathing slowly, willing his cheeks not to get red. Why had he fallen for the idiot again? After turning to glare at said idiot and meeting smirking crystal-clear blue eyes, he remembered. Hmm. Maybe it was time for a change of tactics.

The blue eyes opened wide with shock when the raven leaned closer to him with a predatory gleam in his eye and said, “Maybe you just want me to be in love with you, Naru-chan?”

Three blinks. Yep, Sasuke decided, his little blond could dish out but could not take it. He licked his lips, completing the hungry look.

“Kakashi!” The dobe jumped behind the grey-haired man, pointing at Sasuke and yelling, “Scary-Sasuke-bastard!”

Sasuke snorted, and turned to grab the jersey. “I’ll be out there in a minute,” he said, going over to the counter with his purchase.

He ducked into the restroom to change before going back outside. Checking himself out in the mirror, he was pleased with the look. It was a bit flashier than normal and a little tight, but he was in the mood for some changes. It hadn’t taken much at all to fake the hunger in his eyes when he’d looked at the blond earlier. Even if said blond was an idiot.

He stepped outside, wondering if he imagined the slightly widened eyes of his best friend before sticking his old shirt in the backseat of the car.

“See something you like, dobe?” he whispered as he passed the blond on the way to his bike.

Naruto sputtered, “Teme!” and stuck out his tongue at the raven’s retreating back. Sasuke caught sight of the childish gesture and thought about asking the blond what he planned on doing with the tongue, but decided against it. He looked over to see Kakashi watching their exchange with interest and just held his face in a most Uchiha-like smirk. “Alright,” he said, “Just follow me. The trailhead is up here in a few blocks, before it branches off into the woods.”

The two behind him were silent while they rode through the residential blocks leading up to the trailhead. Sasuke wondered if Kakashi would try to read and bike while they were actually up on the trail.

Things got back to normal once they were on the trail proper, though. Naruto challenged Sasuke to a race to the top of a hill, and of course the raven couldn’t back down. They were pretty well matched, and Sasuke loved the feeling of pushing his muscled harder, feeling the cool mountain air against his skin as they rushed through the trees. The trail here was relatively clear and not too steep. He could feel his lungs burning just a bit from altitude, but it just added to the experience. He and the blond were neck and neck most of the way, but Sasuke pushed just that much harder at the very end, and won. In his mind at least.

“No way, Sasuke, I passed you by half a bike wheel!”

“Hn.”

“Kakashi? Who won!”

The grey-haired man peered at them from over the corner of his orange book. “Maa,” he said, “Wasn’t watching. Distracted by a bird.”

Yeah, right.

“Aww, man. Oh well, first one up the next hill wins I guess, bastard.”

“Hn.”

The downhill was pretty easy, but Sasuke noticed that the uphill section was getting rougher. His tired got caught on a bit of skree when he wasn’t watching carefully enough, and he was slightly behind Naruto when he got to the top. Naruto wasn’t gloating, however.

“How’d you get up here so fast, old man?”

The blond was pointing at Kakashi, who was leaning back on his bike reading his book. Sasuke blinked. When had Kakashi passed them? And how in the world was he reading his book while mountain biking?

“Hm?” Kakashi said, peeking over at them. “Oh. You have to remember Naruto, the secret to mountain biking isn’t just about speed, it’s about stamina.”

What the hell? Sasuke furrowed his brow. That didn’t make any sense. And why was Naruto blushing?

“Hmph. Whatever. Race you to the bottom of the slope, Sasuke.”

Peering over at the downhill slope, Sasuke frowned. “Um, dobe, I’m not sure we really want to be rushing it here…”

His words fell on deaf ears as the blond shot down the slope. The raven followed behind at a more careful pace, trying to watch the ground more closely. The downhill slope was more curvy and steeper than the two uphill stretches had been. He watched in concern as Naruto picked up speed, and was opening his mouth to yell a warning as Naruto came up on a skree-covered turn too quickly when the inevitable happened.

Ow, that had to hurt.

Suddenly, Sasuke didn’t really care about safety, all he cared about was reaching the blond and making sure he was ok.

Reaching the site of the accident, he jumped off his bike and knelt down by the blond, pulling him closer and checking his limbs for wounds. Naruto groaned and shook his head. Lucky for him he was wearing his helmet and protective gear, Sasuke thought, though there was still some road rash on one of the blond’s arms.

“Owie,” said the blond, staring up in to the eyes of the raven.

“You should be more careful, dobe,” Sasuke said, but softer than normal, his voice edged with concern. “I don’t want to spend my re-birthday weekend in an emergency room.”

Naruto made a face, slowly sitting up and stretching out his hurt arm. “I’m fine,” he said, pouting a bit. He looked over at Kakashi who was picking up the fallen bike. “Is it ok?”

Kakashi checked it over, and nodded. “None the worse for wear. You going to be ok riding back?”

Naruto nodded.

“It isn’t too much farther anyways,” Sasuke said, adding under his breath to the blond, “but no more rushing things, baka.”

The blond made another face, wincing as he got back on his bike. Sasuke looked over at him concerned, but he really didn’t seem to be that much the worse for wear.

“I’m not that fragile, Sasuke,” Naruto said, sounding annoyed.

“Hn.”

They finished out the rest of the ride at a more sedate pace. Sasuke enjoyed it better this way anyway, he had the chance to really appreciate the scenery. The last quarter-mile took them around the edge of a large pond. The late afternoon sunlight was glistening over the surface of the water. They stopped to rest for a minute, watching the wind scare up tiny waves along the pond.

“Hey look, Sasuke, minnows.”

The raven walked his bike over to the blond and looked down into the water. They watched together as the tiny fish darted about in the shallow water.

“Kakashi took me on a trip once, to this lake in Wyoming?” Naruto murmured after a few minutes.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“One morning, I just went down to the water and sat down in it, getting real still and relaxing.”

“You, still?”

“Hush. Anyways, after a while all these minnows came up to me, and started nibbling at my bare feet. It didn’t hurt or anything, just kinda tickled. It was the coolest experience.”

“Hn.”

They watched for a few more minutes until Kakashi called them back to the trail, reminding them they had to get the bikes back by six.

Itachi was making dinner when they got back to the cabin. Kakashi helped Naruto clean and dress his arm while Sasuke took the first shower. After he was done, he went downstairs to help Itachi finish up.

“I think Kakashi and I may go down and catch a movie later tonight, there’s a Korean flick that hasn’t hit any of the theaters around us. You want to come?”

Sasuke pondered. After the weird movie last night, he’d had his fill of martial arts films for the weekend. “I think I’m a bit tired out after today.”

“Will you and Naruto be ok by yourself while we’re gone?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his brother. “We’re eighteen, not twelve.”

“Hn. I suppose I should trust you to play with matches if you decide to use the fireplace? It might get chilly enough for a fire tonight, if you want.”

Sasuke didn’t even bother to answer that obviously rhetorical question. Itachi had been teaching him about fire safety since he was five.

He didn’t complain about the stir-fry they had for dinner, though. Itachi had gotten pretty good at cooking up healthy meals over the past few years. The older raven had an intense dislike for takeout and fast food.

Afterwards, Sasuke and Naruto waved goodbye to the two older men before settling down in the room with the fireplace. They were both pretty quiet after the long day. Sasuke set up a small fire, and they both decided to sit on the floor in front of the couch, stretching out their legs and watching the flames dance.

After a while, Naruto spoke up. “Ne, Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“What made you decide you were gay?”

The raven blinked. So many ways to answer that question. The curve of a tan neck against an orange sweatshirt. The small surge of jealousy at a pink-haired friend. The desire to spend all of his time with a certain blond-haired friend. Looking at said friend in a pair of low-hanging swim trunks, and wanting to place his mouth just so against the curve where skin met cloth.

“What do you mean?” he responded.

“Well like, were you attracted to someone? Someone you knew, or a celebrity?”

When the raven was silent a few moments, the blond said. “I know. You fell in love with Johnny Depp, right?”

Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder with his fist. “Dobe.”

The blond collapsed into giggles, then said, “Well? You don’t have to tell me who, or anything.”

“Hn,” the raven said, pondering. “Yeah, I was attracted to someone.”

“Someone we know?”

“Yeah.”

“Who?”

The raven gave him a dirty look, and the blond waved his hands in front of his face apologetically. “Just kidding, just kidding.” He sat up cross-legged, facing the raven, and turned to look at the fire.

They were silent a while longer, then Naruto said, “What made you like him?”

The raven pondered. Blue eyes. A voice that could go a mile a minute about nothing at all for hours, then say one thing that made the whole day crystal clear. A laugh that could jolt him out of the worst bad mood he got into, even if he wanted to stay and sulk. A determination that steamrolled over all of his objections. A courage that made him want to stand up and be just confident in himself as the blond was in him. “I dunno, lots of things, I guess.”

“Do you still like him?”

He turned and looked at the blond, gazing into his eyes. “Yes.”

Naruto was solemn for a moment, then said with a straight face, “It’s Lee, isn’t it.”

Sasuke felt his left eye begin to twitch. He stared at his best friend incredulously for a minute as the blond’s face cracked into a huge grin and collapsed into laughter. “Idiot!” he said, aiming a punch at the blond’s chest.

Naruto caught the fist in his hand, still doubled over with laughter. Then he looked up at the raven crouched over him, and just smiled, eyes widening at the way the raven was watching him. He swallowed. “Teme?”

Sasuke opened his fist and interlocked his fingers with Naruto’s, watching his friends face carefully for any signs of rejection. “Dobe,” he said, pushing back against Naruto’s hand and setting his other hand beside the blond, bringing his face closer and closer to the other boy.

Their eyes locked together, watching the way firelight played across the others face. Breath mingled together, ghosting over skin. Finally, the raven turned his head just a bit and brushed his lips against the blond’s, feeling slightly chapped skin over softness. When the blond didn’t object, he pressed down a bit, feeling a hand snake around his neck and press him closer to the kiss. He felt slightly awkward at first, but then really really hungry. He let go of the blond’s hand and pressed the other boy down to the floor beneath him, letting his fingers slide between locks of golden hair. He nipped at Naruto’s lower lip, earning a muffled moan, and then flicked his tongue out to taste.

Heaven, he decided. This had to be what heaven tasted like. It was incredible.

. . .

Kakashi and Itachi slipped into the front door softly, not wanting to wake the boys if they’d fallen asleep. Kakashi was reaching for the light switch when he saw Itachi pause, looking down at the space in front of the fireplace. The raven cocked his head to the side. Kakashi looked over his shoulder when he heard the other man draw a quick breath. He quickly put his hand over the raven’s mouth before he could make a sound, dragging him back out the front door.

He closed the front door and turned to face a very angry looking Itachi.

“What in the hell was that?” Itachi hissed at him.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “What did it look like?” he whispered.

“It looked like my brother and your nephew were going at it on the floor!”

“Well, yeah.”

“And why are we whispering?”

“Well, how would you feel if your older brother walked in and interrupted your first make-out session?”

“I don’t have an older brother!”

Kakashi just raised his other eyebrow, and found himself engaged in a staring contest with the older raven. Unfortunately for Itachi, Kakashi didn’t fold as easily as his younger brother.

Finally, Itachi huffed. “You knew about this?”

“Well, I suspected it would happen sooner or later.”

Itachi looked to the side. “You knew Sasuke was gay?”

“You didn’t?”

Itachi glared at him, and then sighed, sitting down on the front porch steps. Kakashi sat down next to him, watching as the other man crossed his arms and looked out into the distance. “I had hoped – hoped he wasn’t,” the raven said after a long pause.

“Why?” Kakashi said. “It’s not like it bothers you.”

Itachi gave him a dirty look. “Well no, except when certain people don’t know how to take no for an answer. I’m never going out drinking with your friends again.”

Kakashi chuckled.

“But it’s just – hard.”

Kakashi was silent for a minute. “Sasuke’s stronger than you think.”

“Maybe,” Itachi replied, eyes lost in some old memory. “I still – I guess I just wish I could protect him.”

Kakashi patted his friend on the back. “He’ll always have you, he knows that. And we’ll be here for him too. And things are getting better out there, or so I hear.”

Itachi didn’t respond. Kakashi started to ease his hand down his friends back, earning him a glare from the raven. He chuckled and waved his hands in surrender. “Just kidding!”

Itachi just shook his head and looked back at the door. “How long do you think we should give them?”

“Hmm. Teenagers. First make out session. Teenagers.” The grey-haired man sighed morosely, suddenly realizing the barrier that stood between him and his pillow. He looked up inquiringly at the second story deck. “You think we left one of the door unlocked up there?”

Itachi snorted, and then leaned back against the railing at the side of the stairs, sighing. “Kids.”

His friend nodded, leaning against the railing on the other side as well.

After a few minutes, the raven looked up at his companion. “You know, right, that if Naruto hurts Sasuke, I’m going to have to kill him.”

Kakashi grinned back at him. “Same deal if Sasuke hurts Naruto, of course.”

The raven smirked. “Just so we understand each other.”


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto rolled over, wincing slightly. Rolling over onto his back, he tried to ignore the pain in his arm by staring at the ceiling.

After a few minutes of this, he blinked to clear the sleep from his eyes, and raised a hand to his lips. They felt tender, almost swollen. He wondered if Sasuke’s felt the same. He wondered why he felt – why he didn’t feel the way he thought he should feel. He had expected that if something like this ever happened he would feel happy, ecstatic, and ready to bounce off the walls. Wanting to go and see Sasuke as soon as possible. Instead, he felt – he wasn’t sure how he felt.

It wasn’t that it hadn’t felt good, or that he hadn’t enjoyed it or that had ended badly, or anything. It had been, actually, absolutely mind-blowingly amazing.

The first kiss had taken him by surprise. Sasuke had been acting weird all afternoon, enough so that the blonde didn’t know what to make of it. He swallowed as he remembered the way his best friend’s eyes had looked at him in the bike shop, so amazingly intense, like all of the raven’s attention had been focused solely on him. He’d never seen Sasuke act that way before. He’d imagined what the raven would act like, but the fantasy in no way stacked up to the reality. He wondered if that was how a mouse felt, right before he was swept up by a bird of prey. And then there’d been that shirt! The shirt that looked so amazing that he found himself, just for a minute, being jealous of the shirt. And the way Sasuke’s voice had sent shivers up his spine – very freaky.

Things had calmed down after that, though. The bike ride felt normal. Dinner felt normal. Afterwards – he wasn’t sure what had possessed him to ask those questions. Maybe just the vague possibility that – or maybe the really intense desire to know if – well, to find out some of the secrets that were hidden away behind those dark eyes. He still wondered.

The moment when Sasuke leaned over him would be permanently etched in his mind. The feeling of their hands intertwining. The look in Sasuke’s eyes – like hope and longing and confidence and victory all wrapped up in one long dark look. The taste of his breath. That first kiss – it just felt like he was being laid open and bare, like his will had just gone and he was drowning in this rush of feelings. Kissing Sakura had never been like that. With her, things had been messy and awkward. They’d done the whole French kissing thing, but his heart had never really been in it. This kiss, he felt like his heart was everywhere in it.

He’d never really appreciated what it was like to just kiss with your lips, to feel the faint teasing sensation of something so soft it was almost not there. He brushed his fingers over his lips again. They were still sensitive. He had no clue where Sasuke had learned to kiss – he was fairly certain he would’ve known if the raven had been getting it on with someone, they shared everything – well, he’d thought they did.

And then there was being able to actually run his fingers through the raven’s hair. It was different. He loved the way it felt right at the base of the neck. It was so soft, and slightly prickly, and the way Sasuke had responded – and the feeling, when Sasuke made him open his mouth and had just invaded, like he wanted to taste everything. Not that Naruto hadn’t felt the same way. He didn’t know how he’d expected Sasuke to taste, and he wasn’t quite sure how to describe it – a little bit of stir fry, a little bit of cinnamon from a mint or something, a little bit that was just clean – but there was also this taste, smell, something, that made him want to keep tasting, greedily, until he could figure it out.

When they’d had to break for breath, Sasuke had still stayed so close. His hand had slid over Naruto’s cheek, down his neck, to his side, fingers pressing down like they were counting his ribs. When the blonde had opened his eyes and looked up, it was almost like looking into the face of a stranger. He thought knew all of Sasuke’s expressions, but he didn’t know that one. And the feeling, of the raven’s chest pressed down on his – they hadn’t been that close in a long time. This feeling was definitely different from when they used to wrestle together while fighting. They hadn’t done that since – well, now that he thought about it, it made more since why they’d stopped wrestling a couple of years ago. He’d just figured it was the bastard’s standoffish moodiness.

He remembered how Sasuke had pulled back, just a bit, with those mesmerizing eyes watching all the time. How the hand at his side had pulled him up, just a bit, towards the raven. How when they came together for the next kiss, instead of invading his mouth, Sasuke had teased him into taking a taste himself – and then had captured his tongue, sucking on it, fingers rocking him closer in the same rhythm, so that he couldn’t help but imagine what that mouth might possibly feel like in other places. He’d just about lost it right then, especially when the hand crept down his side, until the raven’s middle finger was caressing the bare skin between Naruto's shirt and the top of his pants and two other fingers were hooked into a belt-loop, tugging. That hadn’t helped at all.

He’d heard a sound just then, or thought he did, and pulled back from the kiss. Sasuke didn’t really seem to care, just murmured something soothing, looking at him with that same single-minded intensity. Then he came back in for another kiss, trying to drive all coherent thought from the blond’s head. It wasn’t quite the same though. There was this edge of anxiety. It must have made him less responsive, because the raven had slowed down, letting his hand slide back up to rub along Naruto’s side, turning the kisses more gentle. He’d never expected gentleness from Sasuke.

But those soft kisses, with their slow rhythm, the teasing feeling of feather-light lips, enough so that he never knew where they were, so that he leaned up to seek them out, so that he let his body respond to the lightest touches from Sasuke’s fingertips – those kisses had been almost hypnotic. It was like Sasuke had some tune playing in his head, and he was telling it with his hands, and his lips, and his tongue. Naruto had no clue how long that tune had played. All time just seemed to stretch out, until all the firewood was burned up, and the only light in the room was a sliver of moonlight sneaking in past the blinds on the patio door.

After a while, they had just laid there, looking at each other. At some point, Naruto had glanced at the clock on the wall, and mentioned how Kakashi and Itachi would probably be home soon. He couldn’t explain the weird sense of agitation that thought gave him, so he’d covered it up by saying he was thirsty and going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Sasuke had followed, watching him from the entryway into the kitchen, not saying a word. Naruto hadn’t wanted to look up to meet those eyes. They just awoke – too much. Too many sensations inside.

The raven had shadowed him up the stairs. Naruto hadn't looked to see him, but he just knew exactly where he was the whole time. When the blond had pushed his bedroom door open and said goodnight, the raven had been right there, behind him, hand reaching out and wrapping around his hip - just over the edge of his pants, same spot as before. And then one on the other side, pulling him back flush against the raven and he’d felt – just enough that he knew it was there – and Sasuke knew he knew, because the raven heard his breath hitch. The breath against the back of his neck had been full of promise. The words Sasuke had said – words he’d heard a thousand times before – had locked him in place.

“Goodnight, dobe.”

The only sign of the raven’s departure had been the faint feeling of fingertips sliding across his lower back. And the sound of a closing bedroom door. He’d finally been able to make it to bed, but it had been ages before he got to sleep.

And now, a part of him just wished he’d stayed asleep. He’d locked the door behind him last night, he wasn’t sure why – maybe because of the pictures on the camera yesterday, maybe because – he didn’t know. He thought he’d wanted this – hell, he did want this, it was Sasuke, he’d wanted Sasuke for months now, loved him for years, but – it was all so complicated. He hated complicated. The bastard made everything so damn complicated.

He sighed, turning on his back. Outside in the hall, he heard the familiar tread of the raven walking towards his room. The footsteps paused, and then continued on down the stairs. Naruto heard muted conversation. The front door closed and the car drove off. He remembered Sasuke saying something about going to breakfast with Itachi that morning, and sighed in relief. Then caught himself. It made no sense. Why would he want to avoid the bastard? Sasuke was the one who always ran away. Naruto grumbled and turned over, punching his pillow. He hissed in pain, having forgotten that the side he rolled over on was scraped up – and turned back over, looking up at the ceiling glumly. Last night had been amazing, but at the moment, a part of him just wished that it had never even happened.

. . .

Sasuke was in a very quiet mood. He wasn’t sure how to explain how he felt. It was almost like something had clicked into place inside. It was like the calm that Naruto had painted really existed, in some spot in his heart. He loved a blond, and the blond was amazing. He could still taste him in his mouth. He could still feel that skin against his fingertips, could remember the amazing softness of that golden hair. It was like those moments – minutes, hours, however long they’d been locked together – had sheared away all the whatifs that had been building up in his mind. He loved a blond, and he was pretty sure the blond loved him. It was Naruto, after all. He knew Naruto, better than he knew himself.

“Any preference on where you want to go?”

Sasuke looked over at his older brother. It had almost escaped his notice, but Itachi seemed quieter than normal this morning too.

“Not really, maybe someplace that doesn’t look too busy,” Sasuke said. He frowned down at his hands. He really had to tell Itachi.

“We could just grab something and go to a park, if you want.”

“No.” Had that answer been too quick? “I’d rather go in somewhere.”

“Hn.”

In the end, they found a little hole-in-the-wall place off one of the main streets. They were seated at a booth next to a window that looked out on a garden stuck between two buildings. Their waitress was quick to take their order, leaving the two brothers each stuck in their own thoughts.

Finally, Sasuke worked up the courage to say what was on his mind. “Itachi,” he said.

“Hn?”

Sasuke looked into his older brothers eyes, unable to read his expression. He opened his lips, but suddenly couldn’t think of what to say. What’s the best way to do this? How do you break something like this to someone gently? He closed his mouth, thinking of how Naruto had come over and broke the news to him. Remembering the courage that the blond had had that evening – coming out with no idea what his response would be, and every expectation that the response would be in the negative – gave him courage. “I need to talk to you about something.”

The older raven just nodded. Sasuke wondered if he suspected something – well, granted, this was Itachi, he always suspected something. And it wasn’t like Sasuke shared his feelings or anything like that on a regular basis. For a minute, he just studied his brother. Even if he suspected something, he didn’t seem angry, or really on edge. In fact, he seemed a bit relaxed. Sasuke was suddenly reminded of all the crazy, insane, annoying moments they’d had, and he realized – he wasn’t scared that Itachi would do something crazy in reaction to this news, like blow up in the restaurant or throw him out of the house or something. No, what he was scared of was that he’d lose those moments – those little, annoying moments that were Itachi’s way of showing how much he loved him. Part of him, suddenly, didn’t want to say anything at all, wanted to just blow the whole thing off, act like it was nothing, keep things the way they were, so that he wouldn’t have to risk those moments.

And a part of him was scared to say anything because he was scared that Itachi would only see part of the truth, and wouldn’t understand the whole thing. But, he realized, it all came down to trust. He remembered how Itachi had stood by him through the worst moments of his life – how Itachi had saved him from the worst moment of his life – how Itachi had shown him that family was about doing whatever it takes, because love ties you together. And he couldn’t keep the truth from his brother any more.

He looked down at the table, just so he wouldn’t have to see his brother’s reaction, and said, “Itachi, I’m gay.”

The silence that followed that statement made his heart drop. He clinched his fists under the table, waiting for any sound – any reaction at all – to give him a clue of Itachi’s reaction to the bomb he’d just dropped.

“Hn.”

Sasuke looked up. There was no change in expression. No clue from the voice as to what the reaction was. Just that same, patient expression – no sneer. No look of loathing. No glare. Just black eyes, looking at him as if he hadn’t just said the most terrifying thing he’d ever had to say in his whole life.

“I see.”

Sasuke began to breathe again. He suddenly had the urge to say more. “I’ve known for a while now, actually, but wasn’t sure how to tell you.” The silence from the other side of the table stretched on. Sasuke looked back down at the table top. “I first started figuring it out, um, that spring, a couple years ago. We think, that is, Dr. Morino and I kind of think that’s probably one reason… everything happened.”

Sasuke chanced a look up at his brother, and was surprised to see that Itachi’s expression had softened – just the slightest amount, but it was enough for Sasuke’s heart to slow down.

“I see,” Itachi said. He looked out the window at the garden. “I thought it might be something like that.”

Sasuke started. He thought he’d been so good about hiding everything. But, then again, this was Itachi – Itachi knew everything. Itachi had known, or at least suspected, but – he hadn’t said anything?

And, they’d still had those moments. Sasuke looked down, feeling a warmth inside. Itachi still loved him.

His train of thought was interrupted. “I guess I didn’t want to push you, and I wasn’t sure. I think a part of me didn’t really want it to be true.”

Sasuke looked up quickly, expression suddenly wary.

“Not that – I mean, I want you to be yourself, I want you to be happy. I just – it frightens me, for you, I think.”

Itachi looked at him, looking slightly wistful. “I wish I could protect you from everything out there, everything dangerous. It would’ve killed me, if…”

He looked away again. They both remembered.

Itachi continued, watching people pass on the sidewalk beyond the garden. “Did I ever introduce you to my friend Deidara?”

Sasuke frowned, trying to remember. “I don’t think so.”

“Hn. He was the one who saw you that night, at the party. He called me. He even tried stopping you from going outside, but you shook him off.”

Sasuke nodded. He could vaguely remember some blonde grabbing him, but he had thought it was a woman.

“Deidara is gay.” Itachi paused, remembering. “We went to classes together. He was a transfer student my last year. Before that, he’d gone to a school out in Texas.”

Itachi took a sip of water. “It was while he was there that he figured out he was gay. He’d grown up in a pretty conservative family, but he found that a lot of the friends that he made at college shared his interest in the same sex. The town itself was pretty right-wing, but there was one club at the outskirts of town that was known as the, um, gay bar.”

Their waitress arrived with the food and set it down. Itachi thanked her and waited until she was out of earshot before continuing. “Deidara used to go there a lot. They sometimes got threats, but didn’t ever take them seriously…

“One night, Deidara was there kind of late, after most of the customers were gone. He was helping the bartender clean up when they heard the sound of a pickup outside. Suddenly, someone threw something through their front window. It turned out to be a Molotov cocktail. Deidara was standing closest to the window. When the bomb smashed, some of the glass and fire and oil were splashed up onto the left side of his face and his left arm. The bartender was able to put out the fire and pull him out the back exit before the building burned down. The fire department, it seemed, was running slow that night.

“The police never determined who started the fire. Deidara recovered. But he still has scars. He normally wears his hair down over that side of his face to hide the scars. He transferred the next semester.”

Itachi looked at his little brother. “I’m not telling you this to scare you; I just want you to understand why it scares me. People can be really really stupid. And stupid people can be really really dangerous.”

Sasuke nodded. He wasn’t really hungry for breakfast anymore.

Itachi shrugged. “You’re going to be going off to college in a few weeks, and I won’t be able to be there to make sure everything’s ok. I know you’ll have friends there – I know Naruto will be there –“

Sasuke looked down.

“Naruto is more than just a friend, isn’t he?” Itachi said softly.

Sasuke nodded. “I-“

“Hn.” The older raven looked down at his hands. “That’s another thing, too.”

Sasuke looked up at him.

“Naruto is – well. Be careful with him.”

“What?”

“He’s not as strong as he looks,” Itachi said. “I mean, I know he’s strong, but – you do realize you’re probably the person he’s closest to in the world, right? I mean, I know he has Tsunade and Kakashi, but I don’t think their family is – well. I don’t know. But I remember how things were, right after you disappeared. And I’ve watched you guys grow up. Just – be careful. Another person’s heart is a big responsibility.”

Sasuke nodded solemnly. He knew on some level exactly what Itachi meant. It sobered him a bit. He hadn’t really thought about things that way. He was used to Naruto being the strong one, but he remembered the look of vulnerability on the blond’s face the night before. It had made him want - well, alot of things, last night - but it also made him feel very protective. He didn’t want anyone to hurt his blond. Especially himself. He wondered if this would make things more complex, but it felt like it was part of the same feeling, this love he had. It was good.

“Oh, by the way, Sasuke.”

Sasuke looked up. Itachi was almost done with his breakfast, and gestured absently with his fork. “If you could do me a favor,” Itachi continued, “and not make out on our living room floor without giving me some sort of warning, I’d appreciate it. I love you and all, but there are just some things an older brother does not want to see a younger brother doing to his best friend.”

Sasuke blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. And found himself speechless.


	7. Chapter 7

It was midmorning on Monday when Tsunade decided to run home to pick up a few herbs from her drying room. One of her clients had called in with a special order that needed to be picked up that afternoon.

She was surprised to see the orange bug still in the driveway when she pulled up. Naruto had class this morning, didn’t he? Oh well, maybe he had gotten a ride with Sasuke or Kiba or someone. He wasn’t sick was he? He had seemed quiet the night before, but she was no good at gauging these things. She was terrible at kids; why her sister had picked her to have custody of the brat she would never know. Probably because she was the only woman in the family. Fortunately, Naruto pretty much handled himself, most of the time.

She went inside, tossing her purse on the entryway table and looking around for any sign of the blond. His shoes were still by the door. Maybe he really was sick? This was probably one of the times she was supposed to go and check up on him, right?

Going upstairs, she noticed his door was cracked. She pushed it the rest of the way open and looked around, seeing the blond on the bed. He was leaning against the headboard, knees pulled up to his chest, looking out into the distance.

“Oi, brat. What are you doing home? Don’t you have class this morning?”

She narrowed her eyes when he didn’t respond, poking him in the shoulder.

He turned and looked up at her. “Hmm?”

“School?”

He shrugged. “Its fine, just didn’t feel like going this morning.”

She frowned, feeling his forehead. “You don’t have a fever, are you sick?”

He shook his head. “Just didn’t feel like going. It’s ok to miss one class; I’ll just get the extra work from Shikimaru later.”

She put her hands on her hips. “What do you mean you just didn’t feel like going? You aren’t supposed to skip class!”

“I’m not a kid anymore, old lady!” he grumbled, sticking his tongue out. It was more like the normal Naruto, but still seemed kinda half-hearted.

“Hmph. Just because you’ve graduated high school doesn’t mean you can be all lazy! You’re the one who wanted to go to school this summer instead of working down at the shop!”

“Bah,” he said, pulling his knees closer. “What are you doing home anyways?”

“Picking up some stuff for an order.” She looked down at his blond head, worried about his glum expression. “Did something happen?” she said finally.

“Um,” he said, looking up at her. They were both silent. They’d never really been ones to share deep heart to heart talks. “Uh, no it’s alright, I just need to think through some things.”

“Oh, is that all?” she said, bonking him lightly on the head. “Be careful, brat. Not sure how much of that your head can take.”

He winced, and looked down. “It’s ok,” he said, waving her out of his room. “If I explode, I’ll try to do it in the bathroom, make it easier cleanup for you.”

She snickered. “You do that. Oi! And no more skipping class, got it?”

Sticking his tongue out at her again, he grinned and said “Yeah, sure, old lady. Have a nice day at the smelly office place!”

“That smelly office place is paying for your college!” she said, shaking her fist at him as she left the room. She shrugged, going downstairs. She wondered what the problem was. He probably wouldn’t tell her though, maybe later once he’d figured things out. He’d always been a stubborn brat about that sort of thing.

. . .

Naruto wished he could have talked to Tsunade about what he was feeling. He hadn’t really gotten anywhere. It was confusing. Feelings were confusing. Sometimes he wished he’d grown up in a normal family, with a real mom and dad who you could talk to about these sorts of things. He picked up the photo of his parents from his bedside table, and traced his finger over the glass. They looked like they had been the type of parents you could open up with.

Sighing, he put the picture back down, and rested his chin on his knees. That was the real trouble with his friends. There was no way he’d talk to any of the rest of the guys about this. Talking to Sasuke – his mind shied away from the thought. Talking to Sakura – yeah, he could imagine how that would go. ‘Hey Sakura, by the way, the two guys you hit on most during high school might possibly be hooking up, but I …’ hmm. He didn’t even know what he would tell her. He hated feelings. His were so jumbled up right now.

Ok, let’s take this slow. There’s got to be a way to figure this out, right? Maybe he could just go down the list of emotions and figure it out that way. Like imagining his feelings were just some big set problem that he could figure out by separating out all the confused mass of feelings and deal with them one at a time.

Hmm, so what first. Happy. He could deal with happy. Did he feel happy? Well, he had to admit, a part of him was happy. Kind of. But he was unhappy too. That was obvious. Happy people didn’t just sit around moping in bed all day. He should know, he was almost always a happy person.

But he didn’t feel depressed. Just mmm, subdued. Thoughtful. Kinda like when he’d first really seriously started to figure out he was gay. But there was more to it than that.

Confused? That one was a given, check. But confused about what? Well, that too was a given – Sasuke. Why, he wondered. It was what he wanted, right? To be together with Sasuke? It was, but – ack. Maybe he just needed to continue this exercise.

Lonely? Lonely. Yeah. That was a part of it too. He’d felt lonely even that night. Like his best friend was a stranger, almost. Which was really weird. And now he felt lonely because he didn’t know he could share this with. He randomly remembered a line from a song he’d heard on one of Tsunade’s cassette tapes when he was younger – “Would you run to me if someone hurt you, even if that somebody was me?” That person, for him, was Sasuke, even if they didn’t talk about it. But how was he supposed to do that if Sasuke was a stranger? Probably didn’t make any sense, Sasuke had been acting more normally on the ride home Sunday – well, Naruto hadn’t been acting normally, so semi-normal Sasuke was probably to be expected, but – he didn’t want to deal with Sasuke at the moment.

Hmm, what’s next. Remorse? Nah, not really. The teme had mood swings all the time; he was entitled to one or two anti-social moods of his own. Caring? Well yeah, of course. He still loved Sasuke. It was just that, right now he was – hurt?

Ack. Hurt? What was he, a girl, to get his feelings hurt? Why would he be hurt anyways? It wasn’t like Sasuke had rejected him, or made fun of him, or betrayed… well. He hadn’t really, right? His feelings were his own business, right? It wasn’t like Naruto had a right to expect him to trust him with his feelings. He had no right to be angry.

Oh. But he was, wasn’t he? Maybe just a tiny bit? Angry. Angry the bastard hadn’t told him. Angry he had just hid away in his stupid shell. Angry he just ran away and didn’t even try to see how the blond felt, making up his own mind that it would be better not to tell him. Hell, he probably would’ve never confessed anything if Naruto hadn’t said anything first! And really, that night, it wasn’t like he actually confessed anything, did he? He just started kissing, and acting all weird, and distant, and kinda… scary.

Hmph. Scared? Naruto never got scared! He never ran away! He never went and... hid inside his room all morning, trying to avoid some stupid bastard weirdo? Heh. Yeah. Right. Scared, eh? That sucked. Well it wasn’t just about Sasuke, and how he was acting. It was about the whole – I mean – what if Sasuke didn’t actually like him, he was just playing around. Or what if … what if it was real. And not just some fantasy thing. Eh, and the way that Sasuke had been acting like a horny bastard weirdo, like he was the one in control – wait, did that mean! Eh, better get back to that. No way the stupid bastard was gonna win that fight. Probably. It had felt good, really really good, but! No way!

So, hurt and angry. Well, he was probably really angry because he was hurt, right? He’d heard that somewhere, probably from one of those stupid pamphlets in Sasuke’s doctor’s office. ‘Anger is just...’ no wait, that was ‘Depression is just anger turned inward’. Damnit. Eh, probably a good reason not to get all in a huff over the anger thing though. But this time, he was pretty sure, he was angry because he was hurt.

Well, that was a bummer. So he was angry that Sasuke hadn’t told him, way back when. Or even recently. It was pretty shitty of the bastard, in his opinion. Most of what he remembered from that year was bad, hurt. They’d gotten through it, but maybe he was still hurt. Which was probably a little unfair. Maybe. Or maybe he just was only remembering part of how things were.

He ran his finger over the bookshelf next to his bed, pulling out a slim volume and flipping it open. The drawing on the first page brought a smile to his face. He’d still been figuring out his drawing style that year, learning how to draw people. He chuckled, flipping through the pages, looking at the random notes. There was a sketch of Sakura. He was relatively sure her boobs had never been that big though. There was one of Shikimaru, being all lazy again. Jerk didn’t even have to study to make straight A’s. There was one of Sasuke. He paused, looking at the sketch. Sasuke had been sitting on one of the walls outside the cafeteria, looking off into the distance. He had to admit, it was better than the one of everyone else. But then, maybe Sasuke was easier to draw. Except for his chicken-butt hair.

He flipped a few more pages. There was another one of Sasuke, this one a close-up of his face. Naruto giggled. Sasuke was pissed in this drawing. He was pretty sure he’d captured the Uchiha glare perfectly. There was a little cartoon of Ino banging her tray down on Choji’s head because he’d stolen her hamburger. Naruto remembered that day. He’d been lucky to escape a black eye when he asked the blonde why she was complaining so much, she was always griping about going on a diet. He flipped a page. Another of Sasuke. He looked – sad. Beautiful though.

As Naruto kept flipping through the pages, he noticed that most of the sketches were of Sasuke. But that only made sense, right? He was his best friend; he was the person he was around most of the time. It wasn’t like he’d had those types of feelings for the raven way back then – right?

Oh. Shit. Maybe he was dead-last.

But it didn’t count! Sasuke had known, and hadn’t told him! He hadn’t told him! … because he didn’t want it to change their friendship. That was a shitty reason though! A really really… stupid messed up reason. From someone who hadn’t wanted to hurt him, or scare him off, or make him feel weird, or – argh. His conscience was not supposed to be fighting him on this! Anger! Anger! Grr!

The blond sighed. He was always so crappy at staying angry at Sasuke.

His stomach growled. Oh yeah, skipped breakfast. Checked the clock. Mmm, still early. Classes wouldn’t be out yet. Maybe he could just go grab something from the kitchen. He looked around the room, and decided that he didn’t really want to stay in bed all day, or inside for that matter. Outside, it looked really pretty. Who knows, maybe the fresh air would do him some good.

Sulking inside was Sasuke-teme’s job anyways, right?

Fast food, fresh air, who knows, maybe it would shake him out of this funk. Worth a try, anyways.

. . .

Sasuke frowned. He couldn’t see the orange bug anywhere in the lot. Naruto had acted really weird yesterday, too. He hoped the blond wasn’t coming down with something. He didn’t think so though. It felt like Naruto had been pulling away. For a minute his chest tightened. Maybe he’d come on too strong? Maybe Naruto hadn’t liked it? But he’d just been – he hadn’t said anything about not liking it. I mean, it was Naruto, he said everything, right? Far too much most of the time. He wasn’t normally quiet.

The raven spotted one of his friends across the parking lot. “Yo! Shikimaru!”

The other man looked over, taking a drag off his cigarette. Sasuke smirked. He could imagine the thought running through the other guys head. Something about troublesome people, he supposed. And of course, he was too lazy to walk over, so Sasuke had to go to him.

“Did you see Naruto today?”

Shikimaru raised an eyebrow. Sasuke ignored him; he knew it was unusual to check up on the blond. But he didn’t really care.

The brunet shrugged. “Didn’t see him.” He took another drag, and then reached into his bag. “If you see him, give him the assignment? Saves me the trouble of finding him.”

“No problem,” Sasuke said, glancing down. He’d tested out of Calculus in high school. Shikimaru should have too, but he’d slept through the exam. Too troublesome.

Sasuke waved. “See ya,” he said. The other waved back, looking up at the clouds. Sasuke glanced up. It was a pretty day, he thought, sighing. Maybe he should just give Naruto some space.

The more he thought about that night, though, the more it troubled him. He hadn’t really meant to come on that strong. It was just, having him there, so tempting – and the way he’d sounded, and tasted – it was everything he’d ever dreamed. Better, really. The way Naruto had moved under his hands, so responsive. Sasuke sighed, getting into his SUV. He just left the door open, not sure where he wanted to go. Part of him wanted to run by Naruto’s house and check up on the blond. Check up, make out, molest – to be honest – hmm. Making out was good. Even if the blond was upset, Sasuke was pretty sure he could drive those thoughts out of his head. He smirked, and then paused in his thoughts. Was that how lovers thought?

Because he did love the blond.

It wasn’t just lust. Sure, he wanted him for his body, but – really, he just wanted to make sure Naruto was alright, and not unhappy. To make sure that he hadn’t made the blond unhappy somehow. He thought about what Itachi had said, about Naruto being weaker than he looked. Maybe it was true. Not that he’d ever tell that to the blond to his face – punches were not the form of physical affection he wanted! Wrestling though… but yeah.

Come to think of it, that night, he’d never really told Naruto anything about how he felt. Was he supposed to? Naruto would know, right? They were best friends. They knew everything about each other.

Everything, except that they were both gay. And liked each other. He was pretty sure Naruto liked him. If he didn’t – that didn’t really bear thinking about. That way, he knew, lay dark dangerous places. If he lost the blond – he felt his breath stop just thinking about it. It was hard to imagine ever existing without Naruto. They just fit together. Like their pictures. Like that amazingly awesome picture that Naruto had painted of him fit with that photo he’d took of Naruto. If he ever lost that – he wasn’t even sure who he’d be anymore.

He stared morosely at the steering wheel, then caught a glimpse of a stupid orange duck sticker Naruto had put on his dashboard over the RPM gauge. He smiled. Yeah, thinking that way led down the road to darkness. And it was far too extreme to think he’d lost his best friend. If he was going to be honest, the way Naruto was acting wasn’t all that different from how he acted sometimes. He felt a twinge of guilt. In fact, he’d done it just a few days ago. Maybe not skipping class, but avoiding the blond.

Ouch. He knew Ibiki said that being honest with yourself hurts less in the long run, but he was pretty sure the guy was a closet sadist. Ok, the images that brought to mind were way too disturbing for words. Really. But anyways. So maybe Naruto was … pulling a Sasuke?

The raven snorted. Idiot.

But he was in love with an idiot.

A part of Sasuke wished he’d told Naruto he loved him. Just in case that was what the blond was so worked up about. Even if he should have known. It didn’t have to be all frilly and girly and flowers or nothing. Probably just a simple ‘Yo, idiot, I love you. Let’s make out’ would work. Maybe drop the idiot. Meh. Nah. Honesty is the best policy, after all.

He snorted, and looked up at the hill in front of him, frowning suddenly. No one in town drove a car painted that stupid of a color except – hmm.

He pondered what to do for a moment, and then smirked. So Naruto was pulling a Sasuke? Ok, let’s pull a once in a lifetime ‘What would Naruto do?’

Sasuke shuddered for a moment, and then steeled his resolve. Yeah ok. He’d do it. But just this once. The thought of doing it more than once was way too disturbing.

. . .

Naruto leaned back against the rock, looking up at the sky. He couldn’t remember when they’d discovered this rock. Probably Shikimaru had found it. He was always finding places to sneak off and be lazy. He sat up, and looked down. From here, he could see most of the town, at least this side. There was his car, parked down on a pullout on the road. It was the make-out place at night, but during the day it was ok. Below that there was the college and the mall, and the river. If he looked close, he could probably even see his house. It was peaceful up here during the day. People didn’t really drive up here in summer. It was the fastest way from the high school to the mall, but no one really drove it when school was out.

He lay back down, drumming his fingers against his stomach. He’d successfully avoided thinking about things (too much) while eating lunch. Some of the junior high kids he worked with at the dojo were hanging out eating burgers, so he’d had fun getting onto them and teasing Konohamaru about being beaten by a girl. He was pretty sure that Moegi had been more embarrassed than the boy. He wondered if she’d ever work up the courage to tell the other kid what she thought of him.

Ack. He sighed. So much for not thinking about things.

Was it really that simple? He’d never really had a problem telling the people he liked that he liked them. Hell, he’d asked Sakura out so many times she’d threatened to change her number. But what if it was a guy? What if he liked Sasuke? Oh wait. Crap. He did. And he’d never told him – but he’d had his reasons! And they were much better than mister prissy pants’ reasons. Of course. Maybe.

But he’d been getting around to it, that night! He was really really going to tell him! Right after he figured out if Sasuke liked him first, of course. But then there was all the kissing stuff.

He sighed.

“Yo, dobe.”

Naruto jumped, blinking, and stared at the person standing next to the rock. The raven was looking at him with a halfway-bored expression on his face. A very normal expression. He had his hands stuck in his pockets, and was looking the blond over critically. Sasuke frowned, and said, “You do realize you’ve got strawberry syrup on your shirt, don’t you, idiot?”

Naruto looked down and blushed, then scowled up at the raven. “What the hell, bastard! Sneaking up on people like that!”

Sasuke just raised an eyebrow and smirked, before saying, “Move over. We need to talk.”

Talk?


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke really had to hold himself back from just jumping the blond right then and there. Naruto, stretched out on the rock, shirt riding up over his jeans exposing a strip of tan skin, his mouth open in shock – yeah, very jumpable. He thrust his hands deeper into his pockets, hoping that Naruto wouldn’t notice his reaction. Jumping the blond might be nice, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t go over too well. And he supposed they really did need to – ack – talk.

He crawled up on the rock next to the blond, sitting Indian-style facing him. Naruto sat up and did the same, clasping his hands together and resting them against his legs. He was slightly hunched over. He looked at Sasuke for a second and opened his mouth as if he had something to say, but then turned his head and looked back out over the town.

Sasuke watched him, arms resting loosely on his knees, inches from the blond. His blond. He wanted to reach out and touch him, but was uncertain of the reception. Naruto wasn’t acting like himself at all. His Naruto was always so open; even when he wasn’t speaking his emotions were written on his face. The face before him was somehow distant.

He’d told the blond that he wanted to talk, but now that he was here, he wasn’t sure at all what to say.

After a few minutes of silence, he raised a hand to that distant face – just wanting some physical contact, wanting to say something without the words he couldn’t find. When the raven’s fingers caressed the soft skin of a tan cheek the blond turned his head quickly, looking at his best friend in shock. Sasuke pulled back immediately, looking down. He wracked his brain, trying to think of what he could have done to cause that sort of reaction from Naruto. His brain, as always, was always so good at providing so many answers. A brush of knuckles against his hand broke his spiraling train of thought, and he glanced up at the blond.

“Sorry,” Naruto said, managing a small grin. “Just surprised me. I almost forgot you were there.”

Sasuke blinked at him in disbelief. “You – forgot?”

“Eh, well, I’ve had a lot on my mind,” the blond said, chuckling softly. “Maybe you guys are right, and my head will explode if I think too much.”

Smirking, Sasuke shook his head. “No doubt, idiot.”

“Hey!” Naruto said, lightly punching the raven on his knee. “Bastard.”

Sasuke chuckled. As always, the light from the blond helped chase away the shadows within his heart. He looked down, clasping his hands together loosely to mirror the blond. Their fingers were barely inches apart.

“So,” the blond said, after a few moments.

“So,” Sasuke replied, looking up into the blue eyes of his best friend.

“You wanted to talk?”

. . .

Naruto watched his best friend. It was weird, how sitting with the one person he’d been afraid to talk to was somehow exactly what he needed. It was like all these things that had built up in his head were helpless against the truth of what was sitting right in front of him.

The raven glanced away for a moment, and then nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, glancing back down at his hands. His shoulders relaxed a bit. Naruto took the opportunity to run his gaze over the pale skin, noting how the sun glinted in the dark black hair. A stray thought struck him that everything he’d wanted to touch these past few months was right there, within his grasp. He wasn’t quite ready for that, though.

“I never did answer you, the other night,” Sasuke said.

“Hm?”

“About who I liked.”

“Oh. That.” Suddenly, Naruto’s heart was beating faster. He felt that weird fear resurface, that it wasn’t him, that the kiss was just some physical thing that they’d fallen into, that the raven wanted someone else and he was just Naruto, best friend who happened to be handy for some playing around.

Suddenly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer at all. “Well, that’s ok, you don’t have to –“

“Well, I kinda did,” Sasuke continued, as if the blond hadn’t spoken. “But I thought it would probably be good to make it clear. Especially to a dobe like you.”

Naruto’s mouth dropped open.

Before he could voice a protest, Sasuke looked him straight in the eye. The blond’s breath caught in his throat as he was captured by that gaze, so intense, but in a different way. Not lust, but determination. “It was you,” he said. “It is you.”

The raven’s confidence faltered and he looked down again. “And it’s ok if you don’t feel the same way. And I’m sorry if I pushed things the other night. I just…” He shrugged.

“Oh,” Naruto said, slowly digesting this. He barely registered that Sasuke had looked up at his face for a split second, because he was trying to figure everything out. He didn’t realize that the small surge of warmth he felt in his heart didn’t show on his face, a face that still looked shocked. He finally noticed, when he looked down, that the ravens fingers were tightened, rubbing against each other as if waiting for the end of a moment that had stretched on way too long.

“Oh,” he said again. This was heavy. He wanted to call the raven an idiot for thinking he might not like him. For thinking he would’ve done – let him done that – if he didn’t like him. He felt calmer now. He felt a small smile flit across his face when he realized that it was him the raven wanted. Had wanted. Still wanted.

And he knew Sasuke didn’t just do things half-assed. He wondered how much of the crap their sophomore year was because Sasuke liked him and hadn’t known how to tell him, and then he really wanted to call the raven an idiot. But that probably wouldn’t get the point across.

Then he had an idea.

“Um, Sasuke,” he murmured, voice neutral. “Remind me, I need to show you one of my journals when you come over sometime.”

Sasuke looked up at him. This wasn’t what he expected. Naruto almost never let anyone look through his journals; he called them his diaries, even if they were mainly pictures. Sometimes he’d show you a sketch, but even then, he always said he would rather show the finished works instead of the practice.

“Yeah, well, see, I was thinking about everything earlier today, and looked through one of the ones from our sophomore year. There’s a lot of sketches of different people, but one person just kept showing up over and over. I didn’t really realize how I felt until a few months ago, really, but after seeing that, I’m pretty sure I felt this way even then, about this person.”

He looked up at the raven, seeing the guarded but hopeful look in his eyes, and smiled. “It’s you. I like you too. You’re my best friend and most precious person, and I, well, yeah.” Sasuke looked stunned, mouth opened slightly. Naruto almost giggled, but didn’t want to spoil the mood. Instead, he gathered his courage, and decided to take what he wanted.

He lifted a hand and shyly caressed Sasuke’s cheek, then let his fingers trail to the back of the raven’s neck. Sasuke watched him, tilting his head towards the hand, never breaking eye contact as Naruto leaned forward and gently kissed him. It was soft, and warm. The raven matched the kiss, opening his lips slightly when Naruto’s tongue flicked out, tasting him. It was good.

The blond felt hands skim over his pants and around his back, one coming up to cup the back of his head. Sasuke deepened the kiss, slowly, and Naruto felt this deliciousness come up over him. It was languid, gentle, almost like their last kisses that night but different, purer somehow. Naruto fisted one hand in Sasuke’s shirt, pulling him closer, the thought flitting through his brain of crawling into the raven’s lap to get nearer to him – but not right now. Right now, this was good. He felt like sand, as the tide came in, brushing against him, weakening him, taking away all his control. It was scary. But this was Sasuke. He trusted Sasuke. Sasuke would never ever let him drown.

Finally, Sasuke broke the kiss, and they just looked at each other. He could see the care and tenderness etched all over the raven’s face. It was the strangest feeling, to be looked at like this, touched like this. It was terrifying how much he wanted it. Sasuke leaned forward and rested his forehead against Naruto’s.

Finally the raven spoke, quietly. “Good.”

It was enough. Somehow, their hands ended up back in their laps, fingers intertwined, knees touching each other. Naruto could feel Sasuke start to chuckle, and leaned back in question, grinning when he saw the true smile on the raven’s face. He had to giggle after that, just because. He tightened his fingers around the raven’s. He knew this emotion. It was happy.

The raven just shook his head. “I wish I had my camera right now,” he said, gazing at the blond. Naruto blushed, looking down. Sasuke lifted his chin with a finger, and turned serious for a moment. “Naruto, I—“

Naruto interrupted him with a swift sweet kiss. “Shh. No talk, just – happy.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, then widened them with shock when Naruto pounced, tickling him. “Oi! Dobe!”

“I know where all your tickle-spots are!”

They wrestled around for a bit, almost falling off the rock. Naruto soon found himself pinned though, wrists in the raven’s hands, and exasperated-looking Sasuke leaning over him. He couldn’t stop giggling. He tried, he really did. When the raven’s eyes narrowed, he squinted up at him mischievously. When the raven smirked back with a dangerous glint in his eyes, the blond finally took stock of his precarious position.

“Ack! Sasuke! Mmph!”

This kiss was harder. It made his head bump against the rock but not too bad, and he soon forgot about that with the intensity of the kiss. He tried wriggling out from under the raven’s hands, but he held him down. The lack of control somehow made things that much stronger. He tensed up, biting Sasuke’s bottom lip, but not too hard. The raven pulled up a bit, still smirking.

“Very good,” he said… purring? Naruto would bet money on it. A friggin purr? When had Sasuke learned to purr?

He stuck his tongue out at the raven, yelping when Sasuke nipped at the tip. Rolling off him, Sasuke let him up, and they dusted themselves off. Naruto found his hand captured again, but he didn’t mind. He just wrapped his fingers around the other slim hand, still feeling the buzz from before.

Purring. Naruto laid back and looked up at the sky. Sasuke lay on his side next to him, their hands clasped between them. Naruto raised a hand up to touch the raven’s face again, reveling in his newfound ability to do just that – to feel how soft that raven hair felt against his fingers, to watch Sasuke’s face as he traced down that check he’d drawn so many times. He wanted to take the time to learn it all by touch. He let his finger slide down Sasuke’s nose, poking the end. Sasuke just rolled his eyes, and then moved suddenly, kissing the tip of Naruto’s finger.

The blond was startled, but found himself mesmerized. He traced those lips that had kissed him just a few moments before, eyes widening when Sasuke opened his lips and flicked his tongue against the questing fingertip. As he stilled his movement, those warm lips closed around his finger, sucking him in just a bit, teeth lightly scraping against the pad as Sasuke pulled back.

The raven kissed his fingertip before saying, “You taste … um, to be honest, a little dusty.”

Naruto blinked, and then pulled his hand back, giggling again. “Well what do you expect, bastard? We’re in the middle of the desert here.” He waved his arm around. “See, living desert, all around us!”

“Idiot,” Sasuke said fondly, giving him a quick kiss. The raven glanced at his watch. “You wanna come over to my place?” he said.

“Sure,” Naruto said. It was natural, normal. He looked down at their two cars, and tightened his fingers around the raven’s, suddenly not wanting to let go. Though Sasuke was right, it was getting kinda late. And, he noticed, he was kinda hot and sweaty and grimy after sitting on the rock for who knows how long.

He scrambled to the edge, putting both his hands down against it before sliding off. He dusted off his ass then looked back at Sasuke, catching where the raven had been looking. Snorting, he shook his hips a bit. “Like what you see, Sasuke?” he teased.

The raven replied by slapping a hand against the blond’s ass after he got down. “Definitely.” He gave a squeeze, and Naruto yelped, catching the offending hand in his own and grinning happily. They started walking down the trail.

“Ne, Sasuke, think Itachi would mind if I took a quick shower? I feel kinda dirty.”

When Sasuke didn’t reply, he looked over and caught a suspicious looking smirk on his face.

“Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

Naruto narrowed his eyes. “What are you thinking?”

Sasuke just shot him another one of those looks that made the blond seriously consider running for the hills. Then he got it.

“Ack! Pervert! I knew you hung out around Kakashi too much!”

He pulled his hand from the raven’s grasp and ran the last few feet to the end of the trail, checking quickly for cars before running over to his bug. Opening the door, he looked back and stuck his tongue out at the raven, grinning at the look on the other boy’s chuckling face.

“See ya at home, bastard!” he said, getting in and starting up his engine.

Yep. Things were going to change. But it was good.

. . .

Itachi peered over his sunglasses as he pulled into his driveway. Orange bug, hmm? That was a good sign. Naruto had been pretty distant on the ride back yesterday.

He pulled into the garage, parking beside Sasuke’s SUV. He was about to open the door into the house when a thought struck him. He decided to keep his sunglasses on, just in case.

Turning the knob quietly, he snuck inside and into the kitchen. He listened carefully for a few minutes, wanting to make sure that Sasuke had taken him seriously about the makeout sessions.

Not hearing anything, he walked into the living room, looking around. Nothing, though he could see Naruto’s shoes by the front door. Upstairs?

He walked upstairs. Sasuke’s door was closed. He glanced in at the open door of the bathroom and saw a towel on the floor. Hadn’t he told Sasuke to not leave towels on the floor? Although… Itachi narrowed his eyes and stalked towards Sasuke’s room. Making out was one thing, but he might have to set down some ground rules. For the next couple of weeks, at least. He frowned when he remembered that Sasuke and Naruto would be roommates fairly quickly. Well, suitemates, actually, but – oh well. They were good boys. Probably.

Wincing at what he might hear, he carefully put his ear up against Sasuke’s bedroom door. Things were quiet. Too quiet. Really too quiet. His makeout sessions were never this quiet. Straining, he finally heard the muffled noise of conversation, and what sounded like a page turning.

Shrugging, he backed away from the door. He had a pensive look on his face as he made his way to his own bedroom, going inside and shutting the door quietly. He’d ask the boys what they wanted for dinner later. He didn’t want to interrupt them.

It was strange to think about, but he guessed there were times when you just had to do your best, and trust that you’ve done a good enough job to let go a little. Then he was tempted to go online and go look up nanny-cams (Sasuke wouldn’t notice a new stuffed teddy bear in his room, would he?), but refrained, deciding to go and take a shower of his own instead.

He was surprised to find, as he stepped into the stall and turned on the water, that he felt more relaxed about his little brother now than he had in a long time.

. . .

“Ne, Sasuke,” Naruto said. He was lying on his back on Sasuke’s bed. The raven was sitting against the wall, legs stretched out, a pillow and Naruto’s head on his lap. The pillow had been Naruto’s insistence. Now that he had some idea how pervy the raven probably was, he figured it was a good idea.

Sasuke was reading, a book in one hand and the other tracing designs in Naruto’s hair. The blond almost felt like a cat. He wasn’t going to complain, though. It felt amazing. Even if Sasuke occasionally felt like he could use Naruto’s chest to rest his book on while he turned the page.

“Hmm?” the raven replied absently.

“Did you hear anything?”

“Mmm,” Sasuke said, turning a page, “probably just my brother. It’s about time for him to get home from work.”

“Oh.” He snuggled closer, pulling the edge of the comforter over his legs.

“Cold?”

The blond shrugged. “Not really. Just a little.”

“Hn.”

Naruto turned on his side, looking at the far wall in fascination. Sasuke already had the painting hung up. Next to it, there was a hasty printout of the photo taped up on the wall. It wasn’t big enough or crisp enough to really be able to do the picture justice, but it was enough to let him see how things would be. Sasuke said he had sent a better print out for framing. The frames and size would match the painting. He had both pictures memorized in his mind, but the idea that they would really be next to each other was really cool. Sasuke had suggested that they put them up in their dorm next month.

He loved the idea. Sasuke, staring into the fire, peaceful and happy. Himself, gazing at the sunset, calm and determined. It wasn’t everything about who they were. But in a way, it was pieces of them that were only seen best by each other. He smiled.

He hadn’t noticed when Sasuke set down the book. He just noticed when pale fingers came to trace his smile, then caress his face. He closed his eyes as the fingers urged him to lift his chin, tracing lazy designs on his neck, and then slowly teasing over his chest. Put that alongside the hand still in his hair, massaging his scalp, and he really did feel like a cat. He wondered if Sasuke would teach him how to purr.

Naruto opened his eyes and looked up at the raven, rolling onto his back. Sasuke was gazing down at him with that calm and peaceful expression that Naruto loved. The blond grinned, blinking up. He pursed his lips. “Ne, Sasuke,” he said, feeling serious for a moment. “I l—“

He was halted by a finger against his lips. “Shh. Later. You’re too sleepy.”

Smiling, he turned over on his side, feeling the hand move to trace patterns on his back. This was amazing. Sasuke was amazing. Happily, he snuggled back down into the covers, and closed his eyes.

He’d tell Sasuke that he loved him later.

~~~ End ~~~


End file.
